Not as black and white, or pink, as it seems!

I've been thinking the last few days about things that I take so very much for granted, because of my upbringing, because of being born and raised in the US, for a multitude of reasons that are all pretty valid- but things which are not necessarily as clear cut as they seem!

One such thing is about color.  We have all kinds of rules about color in the US.  For instance- blue is a boy color and pink is a girl color.  That said, a girl can wear blue, but, must have the right other colors on, or the right shade of blue, to not "look like a boy".  Men have only recently started wearing pink because it became fashionable, but you would never dress a little boy, much less a baby boy in pink.  Right?  And yellow and green are "neutral" colors- although I think as soon as you actually have the baby, the greens and yellows take on a decidedly more gender specific tone.  But see, that again, is me seeing things through my own filters again.

My point... the other day I saw a monk carrying a beautiful pastel pink bag- his school bag undoubtedly- and at first it seemed so odd to me!  A young boy (probably a pre-teen, maybe young teen) proudly carrying a pink bag!  My own husband won't touch pink clothing with a 10 foot pole.  He once got a pair of sweats that had a touch of pink in the name brand on the pocket- he colored it in with a black marker!  Obviously, such cultural conversations... and are different wherever you go!  Also, the other day when a team of four local men showed up to install our internet connection, one of them actually asked if Beni was a boy or a girl- and she was wearing a pink onesie with pink piping at the edges.  But it obviously didn't occur to him that this would be indicative of anything!

Moving into the house also has me questioning certain things.  Like, why don't people like closets?  I mean, really??? Closets are great.  Is there a geographic reason that one might not want a closet? Why is a wardrobe better (I honestly can't think of a single reason)?  Also, when building a kitchen, why put in cupboards that no normal height person would be able to reach the second shelf of?  I mean, I KNOW I am short, but when I have to stand on my tip toes to reach the bottom shelf, that is a way up high cabinet!  (Mental note...add step-stool to shopping list...)  Also, when installing cabinets under the counter top which are at least 3 feet high, why not put a shelf in there?  Why leave it one giant open space?  And then, this leaves me asking questions like, where does a Lao person store their food?  Do they bring in lots of extra shelving units?

The thing I am glad about, is that I am NOT spewing out things like, "this is so stupid- why doesn't everyone do things like we do?"  I like that I'm finding my own attitude to be fairly accepting that people just do things differently in different parts of the world... and they DO have their reasons.  I think I'm making a point of saying that because I'm quite sure that other places I've lived I haven't been as tolerant or willing to understand.  Maybe the things that are different here are easier for me to accept.  Maybe it goes a long way when people smile at you everywhere you go.

Another example.  Today I met with a man to interview him for a guard position for our house.  I think I might have mentioned before that it is generally a good idea to have someone at the house at all times.  It doesn't have to be a big burly person, but, just a presence- a deterrent for any burglars, etc.  So we're looking for someone to work more daytime hours than night hours, seeing as that is when we're all most likely to be out of the house... having a sleep-sensitive toddler at home means we'll pretty much be home every night by her bedtime!  So I interviewed this guy (through a translator- my BIL/SIL's housekeeper).  He was very polite and grateful- he seemed quite keen on the job, saying he really needed the money.  So we struck a deal and I said he could start tomorrow!  He said yes, figured out where our house was, etc...everything seemed good to go.  Then tonight, BIL and SIL happened to have stopped by while out on their evening walk, and while they were here, BIL got a phone call. It was his housekeeper on the line saying that she had heard from the guy, saying that something had come up and he wouldn't be able to take the job after all.

When BIL hung up, he explained that this is actually quite common.  He thinks it's about saving face- so in front of you, whether or not you really think you want, or can do the job, they'll say yes.  Then, if they call later, they can just say something like that- that something came up, something changed, they can't do the job anymore- but they don't have to say no to your face.  So, all in one day, I hired and lost a guard!  We'll keep looking!  And keep dealing with the way things get done here...different from the way they do things back home...but good in its own way!        

We still haven't found a car, and the search is not picking up.  It's a bummer.  Send us good car finding energy!!!  We need it!

A few minutes from home

Oh galoshes, how I desire thee!

It stopped raining today!  Not only that, the sun came out! The skies fully cleared and my SIL and I took full advantage to get out of the house and take the kids for a walk.

As you can see, this is a wear-your-baby, not so much a put-your-baby-in-the-stroller, kind of place when going for a walk.  I assume the picture of the road is self-explanatory as to why.

I am not the kind of person who ever really wanted to own galoshes/rain boots.  But since going for two walks here, I am really hankering for a pair!  This road pictured is just the little road off the main road that leads to their house.  It is obviously a dirt road.  The main road near their house is paved.  But that said, it's still full of pot holes and the width of the road generally varies, so it's not the kind of place you'd really feel comfortable pushing a pram along.  For that kind of a walk, I am told we must drive into town and walk along the riverfront.   Sounds good to me.

Fat bottomed girls...

I had to take a picture of this sign to the left- it gave me the impression that there would be a lot of big bottomed ladies taking fat kids for a walk.  I don't know who designed it, but, it doesn't seem to represent the local population much at all.

The city of Vientiane is divided into villages.  Even though you live in the city, you must also know your village name- especially if you take a tuk-tuk. People don't really use street names and there are no addresses I guess, so, you just give your village (could also be subbed for neighborhood, I suppose) and a landmark.

Stupa

Each village has its own temple.  Each temple has monks.  The whole thing is beautiful.   On our walk we passed one temple and walked as far as another.  There I took pictures.

Gate at the entrance to the temple grounds

I don't actually have that much to tell you about the things I took pictures of, because I don't actually know anything much about any of it.

So I will tell you other things while you enjoy the pictures...

Emerald green Buddha

Let me first say that seeing as it stopped raining and the sun came out today OBVIOUSLY I had to get seriously sunburned.  Sigh.  It was so hot when we were getting ready for the walk.  I changed my clothes like three times because I kept sweating through items of clothing.  I ended up in some shorts and a tank top.  I was wearing Beni in the Ergo, which has a strap across my upper back that keeps the shoulder straps in place.  Well, I know have a nice white line across the top of my back with red on both sides.  Silly.  I definitely need to get back into the habit of sunscreen when going out like this here in Laos!

Snakes guarding an entrance

Incredibly ornate buildings

I think I will also just have to get used to the heat here.  It seems to be a different heat than Angola.  I suppose it's more humid- surely it has to be considering how much it rains here!  In any case, I don't remember ever feeling THIS hot when I was in Angola- but maybe that is because we never spent as much time outdoors there as we do here.  Maybe it's because the house is more open, and the air conditioners are not on all the time, so, the house never gets as cool as our apt was in Angola, so I'm much hotter inside than I was in Angola. I don't know.  In any case, I just know that I feel hotter, and like I will have to get used to this heat.  And get used to it we will, because, the rain keeps things relatively cool-ish.  I mean, today was HOT by any measure, but, in general, it hasn't been that hot.  In late October the rains dry up and the dry/cool season starts.  This last until late February.  March and April are the so hot you think you're going to die hot season.  Then, I guess in June and July the hot season eases into the rainy season.... So it's going to get cooler, and then it's going to get hotter.  Whew.

Even fancy ceilings

Not brave enough to photograph the monks, here are their
robes out to dry

Another gorgeous arch

I noticed something quite nice while going for a walk.  The whole time we walked, we were being watched.  This is no surprise.  I was used to it (though sometimes overwhelmed by it) when I lived in Shanghai.  It also happened in Angola.  But there is a difference here-  when they watch you, and you smile at them, they smile back! Hey hey!  Such a little thing, but it makes such a big difference!  Like it's fair enough that you think I'm some kind of freak of nature, or just the most interesting specimen of human you've ever laid eyes on, or the funniest looking one- but it's awesome that you can get beyond that when you see me smile, and return the sentiment.  Even nicer, so far, people have stopped touching BeniOk we haven't actually spent too much time in the street- but no one even touched her today.  We got a lot of smiles, a few waves, even a couple "Hi!"s... but no crossing the line touching.    

This one really appeals to me-
happy and inviting!

More stupas...I think they are also graves
or gravestones

In any case, as we drove around town we saw a bit more of the local flavor.  As we got out of the area where we've been, we saw a lot more animals on the road.  We saw goats and cows, and there are LOADS of dogs everywhere!  There are so many dogs that you have to avoid them in the street when driving.  Kind of annoying.  But, also, you see a lot of chickens all over everywhere... on our way home we see them every day... as you'll see in one of the last pictures...what I would really call free range chickens!

Thank goodness I put a hat on that child! 

Vientiane is really a small town, but, it's got a lot of little twists and turns and frankly, for now, I have no idea about how to find my bearings.  There is a small part of one road where I know where I am, and which direction home is.  I think I could get from home to school now- we've done it a couple times.  The prospect of having to drive here is a bit daunting.  I like driving in cities and countries where driving is mostly orderly.  Although traffic is not crazy per se here- there just aren't enough cars on the road to make it that crazy- there are no real rules of the road.  Driving is gently aggressive if that makes sense... there is this one left turn where to execute the turn, you just have to keep pulling in front of on-coming traffic to get them to slow down and let you turn.  Of course you kind of have to time it with when there aren't that many cars coming from the other way.  It's not orderly for sure.  So, it'll be a push out of my comfort zone, but, I think I can do it.   That said, the ugly car we thought we were going to get didn't do so well at the mechanics, so we're back in the car search now.  Now that the ugly car is not an option, my husband is rethinking making me learn to drive a stick in this city, in this traffic, on these roads.  I'm not going to say no to an automatic, though I would like to learn to drive a stick, just to know how... but, maybe these roads are not the best place for it.  I'm not going to argue!

A shot of the main road that leads into town
and all the way into downtown

Now I shall stop, and I shall turn away from this horrendous formatting and pretend that it is not awful.  I don't know what happened, and I'm sorry it's so ugly.  Maybe I will try to fix something again before I post, but, if you've read this far and thought to yourself several times, "Holy mother of horrible layout!" then blame blogger and know that I am super frustrated, because the more I try to work with the pictures and put them where I want them, the more they do things exactly opposite. Blah!  I apologize if it is hard to read!




(More than anything I do not understand why some of my pictures are covering some words, and there is nothing, NOTHING I can do about it!!!  This is what I get for including pictures in my posts!)

 

On our way back down the lane...
that's called free range chicken!