I've been thinking the last few days about things that I take so very much for granted, because of my upbringing, because of being born and raised in the US, for a multitude of reasons that are all pretty valid- but things which are not necessarily as clear cut as they seem!
One such thing is about color. We have all kinds of rules about color in the US. For instance- blue is a boy color and pink is a girl color. That said, a girl can wear blue, but, must have the right other colors on, or the right shade of blue, to not "look like a boy". Men have only recently started wearing pink because it became fashionable, but you would never dress a little boy, much less a baby boy in pink. Right? And yellow and green are "neutral" colors- although I think as soon as you actually have the baby, the greens and yellows take on a decidedly more gender specific tone. But see, that again, is me seeing things through my own filters again.
My point... the other day I saw a monk carrying a beautiful pastel pink bag- his school bag undoubtedly- and at first it seemed so odd to me! A young boy (probably a pre-teen, maybe young teen) proudly carrying a pink bag! My own husband won't touch pink clothing with a 10 foot pole. He once got a pair of sweats that had a touch of pink in the name brand on the pocket- he colored it in with a black marker! Obviously, such cultural conversations... and are different wherever you go! Also, the other day when a team of four local men showed up to install our internet connection, one of them actually asked if Beni was a boy or a girl- and she was wearing a pink onesie with pink piping at the edges. But it obviously didn't occur to him that this would be indicative of anything!
Moving into the house also has me questioning certain things. Like, why don't people like closets? I mean, really??? Closets are great. Is there a geographic reason that one might not want a closet? Why is a wardrobe better (I honestly can't think of a single reason)? Also, when building a kitchen, why put in cupboards that no normal height person would be able to reach the second shelf of? I mean, I KNOW I am short, but when I have to stand on my tip toes to reach the bottom shelf, that is a way up high cabinet! (Mental note...add step-stool to shopping list...) Also, when installing cabinets under the counter top which are at least 3 feet high, why not put a shelf in there? Why leave it one giant open space? And then, this leaves me asking questions like, where does a Lao person store their food? Do they bring in lots of extra shelving units?
The thing I am glad about, is that I am NOT spewing out things like, "this is so stupid- why doesn't everyone do things like we do?" I like that I'm finding my own attitude to be fairly accepting that people just do things differently in different parts of the world... and they DO have their reasons. I think I'm making a point of saying that because I'm quite sure that other places I've lived I haven't been as tolerant or willing to understand. Maybe the things that are different here are easier for me to accept. Maybe it goes a long way when people smile at you everywhere you go.
Another example. Today I met with a man to interview him for a guard position for our house. I think I might have mentioned before that it is generally a good idea to have someone at the house at all times. It doesn't have to be a big burly person, but, just a presence- a deterrent for any burglars, etc. So we're looking for someone to work more daytime hours than night hours, seeing as that is when we're all most likely to be out of the house... having a sleep-sensitive toddler at home means we'll pretty much be home every night by her bedtime! So I interviewed this guy (through a translator- my BIL/SIL's housekeeper). He was very polite and grateful- he seemed quite keen on the job, saying he really needed the money. So we struck a deal and I said he could start tomorrow! He said yes, figured out where our house was, etc...everything seemed good to go. Then tonight, BIL and SIL happened to have stopped by while out on their evening walk, and while they were here, BIL got a phone call. It was his housekeeper on the line saying that she had heard from the guy, saying that something had come up and he wouldn't be able to take the job after all.
When BIL hung up, he explained that this is actually quite common. He thinks it's about saving face- so in front of you, whether or not you really think you want, or can do the job, they'll say yes. Then, if they call later, they can just say something like that- that something came up, something changed, they can't do the job anymore- but they don't have to say no to your face. So, all in one day, I hired and lost a guard! We'll keep looking! And keep dealing with the way things get done here...different from the way they do things back home...but good in its own way!
We still haven't found a car, and the search is not picking up. It's a bummer. Send us good car finding energy!!! We need it!
4 comments:
Yes, closets. We lucked out with our apartment here in France, the kitchen came with cabinets; the norm is a diy, empty kitchen. But we are also still searching for armoires, is it that here they have less closets, or that we have more stuff?
The colour thing is not just cultural, its more generational. In the early 20th century, would you believe, pink was for boys and blue was for girls: a June 1918 article from the trade publication Earnshaw's Infants' Department: “The generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls. The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.”
Read more: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/When-Did-Girls-Start-Wearing-Pink.html#ixzz1VJaktkzV
Mook, I had read that before about pink and blue being reversed back in the day (read all about it in Cinderella Ate my Daughter)...because if it were only generational, then I wouldn't have seen a young boy carrying a pink bag. You know? So it might be something that changes with generations in one place, but in a different culture, it may not.
Liene, I don't know... I mean, ok, less stuff... but, like our house has not a single closet. So each bedroom has a wardrobe/armoire... fair enough. Maybe I have more clothes than the average local...but where do they put their towels? sheets? anything else that might go in a closet???
Funny, the pink thing and husbands. My ex husband freaked once when I had brought home hand me down pink boots. I wasn't picky as we had little money and needed rain boots for the boys in Sweden. After an argument, he went to work the next day on the underground. There he saw several men with pink ties, pink shirts, and even a man with a pink back pack. Needless to say he apologized that evening with a caveat of the universe conspiring to show that pink was acceptable.
Might it just be that people from Laos have fewer belongings for closet like areas due to the mustiness in the humidity?
Good luck with the car - all the teachers here are having the same problem too. The one car guy we were recommended has found me a deal on a manual because I am a single Mum with kids... I go to look at it on Saturday to see if I like the deal. :-)
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