OK, yes, I have pictures to share of our trip to Vang Vieng, but, I have been extremely lazy about getting down to business and writing that post! Sorry! I will do it soon!
But for now, I'm moved to write about something else. There is something that comes over me nearly every autumn. It has a lot to do with facebook. I see pictures of my friends and their kids at pumpkin patches, dressed up for Halloween, carving pumpkins, outside with rosy cheeks running around in piles of leaves... I'm not going to lie, it makes me nostalgic, and it makes me miss home.
And now that Beni is here, it makes me wonder what we're missing out on by not being there.
Growing up in Michigan, as I did, means life revolves around the seasons because it can't not. Maybe not quite to the extent that it did 100 years ago, because heating and housing and cars make a big difference, but....when it's summer and hot and the land is producing juicy fruits, and the water is warm you go swimming and you indulge in fresh food straight from the garden (or farmer's market)- you make the most of it, because you know it won't last. Autumn comes and you enjoy the changing leaves, the pumpkins and apples, going for walks wearing a sweatshirt and a scarf around your neck. Winter arrives, and it's time to play in the snow... whether sledding, or skiing or building a snowman- and enjoying thawing out when you come inside with a cup of hot chocolate. And when spring finally arrives (after what seems like a lifetime of freezing temps) you watch nature come back to life- flowers bloom, trees bud and eventually sprout leaves, the grass turns lush and green again, you head outside for walks, maybe carrying an umbrella just in case, waiting for the day you can plant your garden, or when the farmer's market finally opens again. When the seasons change so drastically, you can't ignore them. And you can't not make the most of every season, because you know they only last so long.
Now, don't get me wrong- I could stand a place that had a proper winter with snow and all, but I would like it much better if it only last like 2 months- December and January- plenty for me! Alas, I don't know of any places that have a true winter which is that short. Ah well. Until now, avoiding winter has been reason enough for me to choose warm places to live, even if it means no real seasons. And even if it means missing out on traditions, and enjoying the special things that come with each season.
But kids change everything, don't they? I'm sad now that Beni is missing out on pumpkin patches and hay rides, carving pumpkins, and maybe even Halloween (haven't been a big fan of Halloween since I was a kid myself- but Beni would be really cute dressed up, wouldn't she?).
I've seen some people try to recreate these traditions while living abroad- but sometimes it just doesn't work out. I mean, Halloween in one compound with a handful of kids and a handful of houses to go to is ok.... but not the same as wandering a neighborhood all night surrounded by hundreds of other kids running around in costumes dragging pillow cases full of candy with them. We could potentially pick up some pumpkins here, although I haven't seen any big orange ones (they are kind of squat and greenish), and we could even carve it- but it's just not quite the same when we'd be the only house as far as we know that had a pumpkin on the front stoop. What's missing is the sense of community.... the chill in the air... the turning leaves... the hot apple cider and warm donuts!
That said, I have organized a couple very successful Thanksgivings while living abroad. But, that is because Thanksgiving (the modern version of it) is the best holiday- it only takes being surrounded by people you love and care for, and some good food. It helps if you can get your hands on some of the traditional ones- and in most places finding meat and potatoes isn't that hard.
It's October 24th today (Beni's 18 mos birthday, by the way!), and we spent the afternoon in the pool. We had to wait until afternoon because midday was TOO HOT to be outside. So thoughts of pumpkins and hot apple cider are far from my mind (until I see those darn pictures on facebook!).
Now I realize, one might argue, that even though Beni is missing out on such traditions from back home, she's gaining a lot of other knowledge and experience where she is. I can't deny that, but I also don't think it's quite the same. Sure, she's going to have a completely different perspective on the world someday if she remembers all of this- but, I don't know, there is no personal connection to any of it here. We have no investment in Lao or its culture and tradition. Even if we do embrace and join in while we're here (which I can't say we've done)- when we leave, in all likelihood, we'll leave it all behind. And that is probably because so much of it is so very foreign to us, based in principles we don't know or identify with. So does that mean we're all missing out in the end after all?
What's your favorite tradition for this time of year???
Showing posts with label life post-baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life post-baby. Show all posts
Monday, October 24, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
The downside of co-sleeping
Um, dear in-laws, cover your eyes. I'll tell you when you can uncover them. :)
When I was pregnant I bought a co-sleeper and a crib. The co-sleeper was for use in the US while we were there, and the crib was going to be for here in Angola. We went to a lot of effort for that crib too, my husband especially. It's not the kind of thing you can just pick up at the store here- well, you could get one with the safety standards of 1920 or you could get a nice one imported from somewhere that would cost you 10 million dollars. So, we went the route of buying one from a family that was leaving. They had brought it with them from Australia a few years before. It had already weathered two children, but, at least it was made according to Australian safety standards and a fairly reasonable price. I was gone in the States when my husband had to get the crib, move it, and set it back up. Apparently, it took hours. Lots of hard work. And for what?
Well, not for us to use it! I remember when Beni was born I was ok with people holding her, but, that bassinet? Nope, it wasn't for me. If my husband wanted to sleep or nobody else wanted to hold her, then I was going to hold her. When we got home, the co-sleeper was set up and ready to be used. I promptly filled it with stuff I might need in the middle of the night, and put Beni in the bed next to me. The co-sleeper seemed like it was MILES away, if it was even 12 inches- way too far away for me to put my baby in it and FALL ASLEEP.
That is the story of how Beni ended up in our bed. And I fell in love with it absolutely and completely. When she was really little, I couldn't even sleep without her. I remember my husband sending me upstairs to nap when she was maybe a week old- she had just been fed, changed and was sleeping. I had at least an hour if not longer. So up the stairs I went, and crawled into bed. I tossed and turned for a half hour at least, and then fell into a nightmare-filled sleep for about an hour. It was HORRIBLE. I woke up, came downstairs, picked up my baby, and fell asleep on the couch with her. We both slept soundly, Joel looking on. What can I say? That's just how it was.
Needless to say, I am a big fan and supporter of safe co-sleeping (there is a right and a wrong way to do it- of you're thinking of doing it, do your research on how to do it right!). But, I will admit there is one downside to co-sleeping.
There is a baby in your bed. Pretty much every time you might want to be in your bed there is a baby in your bed. Any time you might want to be in the bed WITH YOUR SPOUSE there is a baby in your bed! In-laws, your eyes are covered, right?
This is the only downside to co-sleeping that I can come up with... it's tough to get laid when there is a baby in the bed where you'd like to do it!
Now, some parents go ahead and try to just do it there anyway. I mean, some babies are deep sleepers, and you can do it quietly, right?. A friend of mine shared a story of doing it with the baby in the bed. She said she and her husband had done it before, but the last time they did it, they were mid-doing-it, when they looked over to see their 7 mos old sitting up watching them. Needless to say, that killed the mood, and that was the last time they did that...
So that leaves finding another place to do it. In our home, that place happens to be the baby's room. Remember, she's not in there! Her room houses her clothes and her changing table, and used to have the crib, until we gave it away to someone who actually wanted to use it. But her room also has a mattress on the floor, which is where we actually change her now that she's entered that won't lie still on the change table for anything phase. So, the mattress serves double duty. Hey, our couch is only a love seat (nice name, but way too small to do it on!) and we have tiled floors- not exactly comfy for doing it!
Mind you, the mattress on the floor in the baby's room is only a single, but, we make do. It makes for a snuggly experience. I mean, ok... it probably should be snuggly anyway, but, well you know... we really have to stay close on such a little mattress! It makes for some laughs as well. And so far it's been a really lovely setting for some post-coital conversations...and those have been quiet, snuggly ones as well, which is really nice. :)
So, that's my story- there is a downside to co-sleeping. Do you think our kid will ever care that we regularly did the horizontal mambo on her "change table"? Ha ha ha!!! Ah, I hope not. :)
So, now ladies... I know I am not the only one in this predicament, so tell me...
What creative spot are you getting it on in since you can't do it in bed???
or (even better)
Do you have a sex story that (unfortunately) involves your child(ren)?
OK, in-laws, you can uncover your eyes! You didn't miss anything here! :)
When I was pregnant I bought a co-sleeper and a crib. The co-sleeper was for use in the US while we were there, and the crib was going to be for here in Angola. We went to a lot of effort for that crib too, my husband especially. It's not the kind of thing you can just pick up at the store here- well, you could get one with the safety standards of 1920 or you could get a nice one imported from somewhere that would cost you 10 million dollars. So, we went the route of buying one from a family that was leaving. They had brought it with them from Australia a few years before. It had already weathered two children, but, at least it was made according to Australian safety standards and a fairly reasonable price. I was gone in the States when my husband had to get the crib, move it, and set it back up. Apparently, it took hours. Lots of hard work. And for what?
Well, not for us to use it! I remember when Beni was born I was ok with people holding her, but, that bassinet? Nope, it wasn't for me. If my husband wanted to sleep or nobody else wanted to hold her, then I was going to hold her. When we got home, the co-sleeper was set up and ready to be used. I promptly filled it with stuff I might need in the middle of the night, and put Beni in the bed next to me. The co-sleeper seemed like it was MILES away, if it was even 12 inches- way too far away for me to put my baby in it and FALL ASLEEP.
That is the story of how Beni ended up in our bed. And I fell in love with it absolutely and completely. When she was really little, I couldn't even sleep without her. I remember my husband sending me upstairs to nap when she was maybe a week old- she had just been fed, changed and was sleeping. I had at least an hour if not longer. So up the stairs I went, and crawled into bed. I tossed and turned for a half hour at least, and then fell into a nightmare-filled sleep for about an hour. It was HORRIBLE. I woke up, came downstairs, picked up my baby, and fell asleep on the couch with her. We both slept soundly, Joel looking on. What can I say? That's just how it was.
Needless to say, I am a big fan and supporter of safe co-sleeping (there is a right and a wrong way to do it- of you're thinking of doing it, do your research on how to do it right!). But, I will admit there is one downside to co-sleeping.
There is a baby in your bed. Pretty much every time you might want to be in your bed there is a baby in your bed. Any time you might want to be in the bed WITH YOUR SPOUSE there is a baby in your bed! In-laws, your eyes are covered, right?
This is the only downside to co-sleeping that I can come up with... it's tough to get laid when there is a baby in the bed where you'd like to do it!
Now, some parents go ahead and try to just do it there anyway. I mean, some babies are deep sleepers, and you can do it quietly, right?. A friend of mine shared a story of doing it with the baby in the bed. She said she and her husband had done it before, but the last time they did it, they were mid-doing-it, when they looked over to see their 7 mos old sitting up watching them. Needless to say, that killed the mood, and that was the last time they did that...
So that leaves finding another place to do it. In our home, that place happens to be the baby's room. Remember, she's not in there! Her room houses her clothes and her changing table, and used to have the crib, until we gave it away to someone who actually wanted to use it. But her room also has a mattress on the floor, which is where we actually change her now that she's entered that won't lie still on the change table for anything phase. So, the mattress serves double duty. Hey, our couch is only a love seat (nice name, but way too small to do it on!) and we have tiled floors- not exactly comfy for doing it!
Mind you, the mattress on the floor in the baby's room is only a single, but, we make do. It makes for a snuggly experience. I mean, ok... it probably should be snuggly anyway, but, well you know... we really have to stay close on such a little mattress! It makes for some laughs as well. And so far it's been a really lovely setting for some post-coital conversations...and those have been quiet, snuggly ones as well, which is really nice. :)
So, that's my story- there is a downside to co-sleeping. Do you think our kid will ever care that we regularly did the horizontal mambo on her "change table"? Ha ha ha!!! Ah, I hope not. :)
So, now ladies... I know I am not the only one in this predicament, so tell me...
What creative spot are you getting it on in since you can't do it in bed???
or (even better)
Do you have a sex story that (unfortunately) involves your child(ren)?
OK, in-laws, you can uncover your eyes! You didn't miss anything here! :)
Friday, March 11, 2011
Born to run?
I wasn't one of those women for whom the baby weight melted off. In fact, with my daughter now 10.5 mos old, I'm still 15lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight. But then, my husband had to come back to Africa when our daughter was only 2 weeks old to finish up the school year. He was gone for 6 weeks, and during that time, I gained 10lbs in chocolate covered pretzels. I've gotten rid of those pounds now, but, am still working on the baby weight.
Before I got married, about 6 mos before, I started running. Then, I got married and pregnant within a two week time span, and I promptly sat down on the couch and didn't get up until 9 months later when I had to push a baby out. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a little. I did exercise now and then while pregnant, but I certainly did not run.
When Beni was about 4 mos old I decided it was time, and I had to get back into the swing of exercising. I started by doing workouts at home, using my Wii
and Your Shape with Jenny McCarthy. A fairly well rounded work out, I definitely felt the burn when I worked hard, and it was EASY to do with Beni sitting right there in her Bumbo. Still it wasn't too long (a couple months) before I got the itch to run again.
So I headed down to the treadmill. Yeah, remember my post about going for walks? I find running outside here just about as appealing as going for walks...not to mention that I don't feel safe going out by myself.
That first 5k I did on the treadmill felt really good mentally to achieve and was pretty hard on my body. But once I started running, I wanted to keep going. I enlisted the help of my brother, Mahting (who happens to be building a business of coaching these days- check him out if you're in the Boulder, CO area and want to be awesome at running or cycling! http://www.triendurance.com), to train a bit more seriously. I was just having fun running and knew nothing of how to train to run longer or faster- but I wanted to run longer and faster!
Besides setting up a training schedule and getting me doing some different stuff (strength training, cross training and running), he also suggested that I read a book- Born to Run by Christopher McDougall. He promised I would get through it in a couple of days, and made me promise that I wouldn't attempt to run 50 miles on my own. Of course, I started reading the book just when Beni started napping on her own really well, so I no longer had to lie at her side reading while she napped (gee, I miss those days!). So I only read at night again now, and frankly, the truth is, I get through a couple pages before the book (er, my Kindle) is hitting me in the face. So, it's been weeks, and I'm still reading it, BUT, I do find it very interesting, and although I was very surprised, I have in fact really WANTED to get out there and try to run 50 miles! I don't want to ruin the book for anyone (click on that link there and go buy it, it really is good!), but it explores an ancient tribe in Mexico whose members can, and regularly do, run incredible distances. And, they do it without running shoes or any other special equipment, and mostly without getting hurt! Then it goes on to discuss how humans were designed to run. That is where I'm at now.
I am very close to finishing the book now- have even found myself trying to go to bed a few minutes earlier the last few nights to try to get through more pages at once- and I have some hope that once I put together and figure out all the little things the book tells about, I will at least be able to run further than I can now, and do it without continually injuring my feet! I am definitely hoping that I will find my inner runner and discover that I too, was born to run! And who knows...maybe when it all comes together for me, I'll find a path to losing the rest of this baby weight too. In the meantime, I am training, trying to avoid injury, and have signed up for my first 5k road race- happening in only two weeks! Wish me luck!
So, dear reader, what about you? Do you run? Or feel you were born for some other exercise? Did your baby weight melt off, or did you have to work for it?
Before I got married, about 6 mos before, I started running. Then, I got married and pregnant within a two week time span, and I promptly sat down on the couch and didn't get up until 9 months later when I had to push a baby out. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a little. I did exercise now and then while pregnant, but I certainly did not run.
When Beni was about 4 mos old I decided it was time, and I had to get back into the swing of exercising. I started by doing workouts at home, using my Wii
and Your Shape with Jenny McCarthy. A fairly well rounded work out, I definitely felt the burn when I worked hard, and it was EASY to do with Beni sitting right there in her Bumbo. Still it wasn't too long (a couple months) before I got the itch to run again.So I headed down to the treadmill. Yeah, remember my post about going for walks? I find running outside here just about as appealing as going for walks...not to mention that I don't feel safe going out by myself.
That first 5k I did on the treadmill felt really good mentally to achieve and was pretty hard on my body. But once I started running, I wanted to keep going. I enlisted the help of my brother, Mahting (who happens to be building a business of coaching these days- check him out if you're in the Boulder, CO area and want to be awesome at running or cycling! http://www.triendurance.com), to train a bit more seriously. I was just having fun running and knew nothing of how to train to run longer or faster- but I wanted to run longer and faster!
Besides setting up a training schedule and getting me doing some different stuff (strength training, cross training and running), he also suggested that I read a book- Born to Run by Christopher McDougall. He promised I would get through it in a couple of days, and made me promise that I wouldn't attempt to run 50 miles on my own. Of course, I started reading the book just when Beni started napping on her own really well, so I no longer had to lie at her side reading while she napped (gee, I miss those days!). So I only read at night again now, and frankly, the truth is, I get through a couple pages before the book (er, my Kindle) is hitting me in the face. So, it's been weeks, and I'm still reading it, BUT, I do find it very interesting, and although I was very surprised, I have in fact really WANTED to get out there and try to run 50 miles! I don't want to ruin the book for anyone (click on that link there and go buy it, it really is good!), but it explores an ancient tribe in Mexico whose members can, and regularly do, run incredible distances. And, they do it without running shoes or any other special equipment, and mostly without getting hurt! Then it goes on to discuss how humans were designed to run. That is where I'm at now.
I am very close to finishing the book now- have even found myself trying to go to bed a few minutes earlier the last few nights to try to get through more pages at once- and I have some hope that once I put together and figure out all the little things the book tells about, I will at least be able to run further than I can now, and do it without continually injuring my feet! I am definitely hoping that I will find my inner runner and discover that I too, was born to run! And who knows...maybe when it all comes together for me, I'll find a path to losing the rest of this baby weight too. In the meantime, I am training, trying to avoid injury, and have signed up for my first 5k road race- happening in only two weeks! Wish me luck!
So, dear reader, what about you? Do you run? Or feel you were born for some other exercise? Did your baby weight melt off, or did you have to work for it?
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