Thursday, March 17, 2011

The downside of co-sleeping

Um, dear in-laws, cover your eyes.  I'll tell you when you can uncover them. :)

When I was pregnant I bought a co-sleeper and a crib.  The co-sleeper was for use in the US while we were there, and the crib was going to be for here in Angola.  We went to a lot of effort for that crib too, my husband especially.  It's not the kind of thing you can just pick up at the store here- well, you could get one with the safety standards of 1920 or you could get a nice one imported from somewhere that would cost you 10 million dollars.  So, we went the route of buying one from a family that was leaving.  They had brought it with them from Australia a few years before.  It had already weathered two children, but, at least it was made according to Australian safety standards and a fairly reasonable price.  I was gone in the States when my husband had to get the crib, move it, and set it back up.  Apparently, it took hours.  Lots of hard work.  And for what?

Well, not for us to use it!  I remember when Beni was born I was ok with people holding her, but, that bassinet?  Nope, it wasn't for me.  If my husband wanted to sleep or nobody else wanted to hold her, then I was going to hold her.  When we got home, the co-sleeper was set up and ready to be used.  I promptly filled it with stuff I might need in the middle of the night, and put Beni in the bed next to me.  The co-sleeper seemed like it was MILES away, if it was even 12 inches- way too far away for me to put my baby in it and FALL ASLEEP.

That is the story of how Beni ended up in our bed.  And I fell in love with it absolutely and completely.  When she was really little, I couldn't even sleep without her. I remember my husband sending me upstairs to nap when she was maybe a week old- she had just been fed, changed and was sleeping.  I had at least an hour if not longer.  So up the stairs I went, and crawled into bed.  I tossed and turned for a half hour at least, and then fell into a nightmare-filled sleep for about an hour.  It was HORRIBLE.  I woke up, came downstairs, picked up my baby, and fell asleep on the couch with her.  We both slept soundly, Joel looking on. What can I say?  That's just how it was.

Needless to say, I am a big fan and supporter of safe co-sleeping (there is a right and a wrong way to do it- of you're thinking of doing it, do your research on how to do it right!).  But, I will admit there is one downside to co-sleeping.

There is a baby in your bed.  Pretty much every time you might want to be in your bed there is a baby in your bed.  Any time you might want to be in the bed WITH YOUR SPOUSE there is a baby in your bed!  In-laws, your eyes are covered, right?

This is the only downside to co-sleeping that I can come up with... it's tough to get laid when there is a baby in the bed where you'd like to do it!

Now, some parents go ahead and try to just do it there anyway.  I mean, some babies are deep sleepers, and you can do it quietly, right?.  A friend of mine shared a story of doing it with the baby in the bed.  She said she and her husband had done it before, but the last time they did it, they were mid-doing-it, when they looked over to see their 7 mos old sitting up watching them.  Needless to say, that killed the mood, and that was the last time they did that...

So that leaves finding another place to do it.  In our home, that place happens to be the baby's room.  Remember, she's not in there!  Her room houses her clothes and her changing table, and used to have the crib, until we gave it away to someone who actually wanted to use it.  But her room also has a mattress on the floor, which is where we actually change her now that she's entered that won't lie still on the change table for anything phase.  So, the mattress serves double duty.  Hey, our couch is only a love seat (nice name, but way too small to do it on!) and we have tiled floors- not exactly comfy for doing it!

Mind you, the mattress on the floor in the baby's room is only a single, but, we make do.  It makes for a snuggly experience. I mean, ok... it probably should be snuggly anyway, but, well you know... we really have to stay close on such a little mattress!  It makes for some laughs as well. And so far it's been a really lovely setting for some post-coital conversations...and those have been quiet, snuggly ones as well, which is really nice. :)

So, that's my story- there is a downside to co-sleeping.  Do you think our kid will ever care that we regularly did the horizontal mambo on her "change table"?  Ha ha ha!!! Ah, I hope not. :)

So, now ladies... I know I am not the only one in this predicament, so tell me...

What creative spot are you getting it on in since you can't do it in bed???

or (even better)

Do you have a sex story that (unfortunately) involves your child(ren)?     

OK, in-laws, you can uncover your eyes!  You didn't miss anything here! :)

7 comments:

Kari said...

A bed for sex? That almost seems foreign to me. It's been years since we've done it in a bed. The couch or floor are our typical places.

Suzanne :-) said...

Couch, floor, recliner, kitchen chair...

Word verification-premo

Those are some premo spots for DTD!

Wow, I've been getting some great word verifications lately.

2shakesofalambstail said...

.... a cornfield? okay okay fine... the cornfield incident was PRE-baby haha :D

Mook said...

So, what happened? (just uncovered my eyes)

Mamma M said...

Mook, you're not "in-laws"! That's only my mother in law and father in law! Ha ha! I never considered that the term would include everyone who is an in-law of any sort... yup, nope... just the two! So you can go back and read it now... and also save your santims to buy me a beer this summer! :)

pandadustt said...

We has resorted to standing up or slight leaning on things. Umm, we also have a big sectional instead of a "love seat" lol

Līga said...

What about the aforementioned dryer? ;)