Book club for people who can't buy books

Tonight I will host what will be my very last book club.  I started going to book club here at my school from the very first time it was held back when I first got here.  I love book club.

The funny thing is, every time I mention, say on facebook that, "I have book club tonight" people always ask, "What book did your group read?"  And while this is of course a valid question, our book club doesn't work like that.

See, when us teachers (or spouses thereof) travel in and out of the country, we have, as I have said before, limited baggage space.  Most of us that love to read will pick up a few books for ourselves- I know I can't get through an airport without picking up at least something at the book shop, never mind if I run across a book shop out in the real world!  So I pick up a few small paperbacks which I have room for, but I hardly have room to pick up say, 20 copies of the same book.  Not to mention, wouldn't that just be a waste?

I mean, the thing is, here in Luanda, as far as I know, there are no English language book shops.  Not even any Portuguese book shops that have a small English section.  So you can't buy books written in English here.  So to me, and obviously, all of us who attend book club, it seems clear that we all profit much more from SHARING books, rather than all reading the same book at the same time.

So what we do at our book club once a month is get together with all the books that we've all read.  Each person tells a bit about the books they've brought, some even read a passage from a book they really liked.  Then after everyone has told about all of their books, all the books get thrown in the middle and everyone gets to fight over who takes which book home!  Usually we're quite civil about it, and will agree to read fast and pass on, if there is a book that many people want.  The books that get left- there are always books left-  get stored in a box in someone's classroom.  

Now of course, there is no accounting for taste.  I am not going to lie, I tend to read a lot of what might be classified as chick lit or romance novels or poolside/beach reading.  I do also enjoy serious books, biographies, historical novels and more...but, I love to sink in with a love story that will remind me of the beginning of my relationship with my husband, or what it was like when we were planning our wedding, or having a baby.  I like chick lit.  Sue me.

A lot of the women, well, we also have two men now, that come to book club shun chick lit, and I am ok with that.  They read downright bogged down stories of all the horrors in the world- especially in Africa, since we are here.  I'm not going to lie, I don't think I have picked up a single one of those books.  I'm probably missing out.  But the truth is, all that bogged down seriousness is just outside my window all day, so, reading about it....I don't know... I guess I just don't feel the need. I can understand why you would- knowledge is power and all that, but, I'm just not into it.  Interestingly enough, I actually don't mind reading those kinds of books about Asian countries...I'm probably going to end up saying something very un-pc in a moment so I'll just get off this track... :)

So that is the book part of book club...but that is hardly all there is to it.  Our book club could also be called a wine and food club.  The get-togethers are hosted by a different member of the book club every month.  That person usually provides a few drinks, etc, but everyone that comes also brings some food or drink.  Nibbles, fingers foods, maybe a salad, dips, etc...and dessert.  For many of us, this is one of our only chances to cook for people other than our families. For me, it is definitely an opportunity to enjoy one of my favorite hobbies (cooking and baking) and have it be appreciated by people who really LIKE food, rather than just my husband who pretty much eats because he has to. It's always nice to have people oohing and aahing about your food, you know?

Oh, and the wine...well, people don't actually tend to bring anything special in that category, because it's just too expensive, but, they do bring large quantities of it.  And people tend to have a few glasses.  I have not generally been a person who really drinks mid-week without a social reason, so, having book club once a month was always a really fun reason to get tipsy mid-week.

This is the only book club I have ever participated in, but, I got an invitation to participate in one when I was living in Riga.  That one was not organized through school, but the lady who invited me was another teacher.  She said to me though, "it's a book club, but really we get together at a different restaurant every month, eat a lot and get drunk!"   Seems that maybe book clubs round the world might have this in common?  Or is it just book clubs for expats?    

So that is what I'm doing tonight...and I need to get ready for it now.  The house needs to get clean (a much bigger issue than it sounds when we're mid-packing!), and I need to start making my food for tonight- I am making caramelized onion and goat's cheese tarts.  And I might make something sweet as well, but I haven't thought that through yet. :)

Have you ever belonged to a book club?  What is it like?  Do you all read the same book, different books?  Do you eat and get drunk, or focus on the book/s?

Not cooking

You know how you have days when you just can't fathom having to cook dinner?  Well, I have those days....not too often, but, often enough.  Problem is, there isn't much to be had fast food or take-out wise around here.  At the nearby mall there is a food court, but, it's either nasty fast food burgers, only fish sushi, or meat and potatoes.  And if you can imagine a food court less inviting than the least inviting food court you've ever been in, then you've got what ours is like.  The restaurants don't offer anything for me the vegetarian, they are expensive (a burger, fries, drink meal will run you $20) and it's just plain not worth it!  So, even when I don't feel like cooking, we don't usually go out.

Our one go-to for "not cooking" that we can almost always get is frozen pizza.  That is what we had for dinner tonight.  Usually on Wednesdays my husband plays sports and doesn't get home until 8 or after, so we call it pizza night and I eat when I feel like it, and he eats after he gets home.  Sometimes I have a "don't feel like cooking" night on a weekend too...then we have pizza again. 

I think this might explain why, when we were back in the States during my maternity leave we often ate out or had take-away JUST BECAUSE WE COULD.  You'd think that with all the access to the healthy wonderful food and ingredients that I would be so excited to cook in the States...and I was.  I did my fair share of cooking...but when I was there I was pregnant, having cravings and tired, or, I was a new mom with a newborn...neither situation really lends itself to cooking a lot when take-out or drive through is an option. 

Hopefully, this time while we're back in the States I will do more cooking because of Beni.  If she's not going to eat Taco Bell, then I can't either.  And as much as I adore Taco Bell, I don't think I'm prepared to give it to her just yet. 

Do you love to cook?  How often do you give in to not feeling like it?  What do you eat when you're "not cooking"?

Garage sale expat style!

We have only 11 days left in Angola, so the time has come when we are sorting, organizing, paring down and packing. It's a big job.  Well, to be fair, it's probably not half as big a job as moving is when you have a whole house with all your own stuff and you've lived in it for a long time...but in any case, it feels like a big job to us!

So, what do we do with all the stuff that we're not going to take with us?  Well, we do "garage sales" but a little differently than back home. 

So far I have given away a number of bags of clothes that no longer fit (so sad...bye bye pre-pregnancy body and clothes!).  These I have donated partially to an orphanage and partially to my old assistant. 

Over the last couple of weeks I have also been sending out emails to the entire staff of the school with big ticket items we are selling.  Things like our dryer (don't worry, I will be buying another one in Laos!), the vacuum, the bathroom scales, our living room carpet and some of our baby things like the baby gate, the mosquito net for the crib, etc.  It's quite funny how you can send an email with an attachment of things for sale, and within minutes you've got emails flying back at you, "I want this!" "I want that!"  Certainly makes you realize who is sitting at their computer when you send the email! :)

Finally, the last thing we're doing to get rid of stuff is having a living room sale/open-cupboard give-away.  Next week, after our going away BBQ for which I will still need a lot of my kitchen stuff, etc I will be having an empty-my-cupboards and living room sale.  Because my husband does not cook at all, he doesn't need anything that is in the cupboards.  Well, his chips are in there, and those we will set aside for him.  Everything else- all my spices, flours, baking goods, pasta, rice, canned goods, etc, etc will all be open for taking by those who come by that day.  I feel a bit weird asking people to pay for my food, so we'll let people take what they want for a donation that we will pass on to one of the local orphanages. 

Then in the living room I will set out all my little stuff- pans, woven baskets, small kitchen gadgets, etc for people to buy.  It'll all go for garage sale prices... some people like to gouge prices here just because they can, but I would rather just get rid of stuff and have people leave feeling like they got a deal. Why not?

So I just realized, I have a lot more work to do before Monday to make sure I find and put out everything that we want to get rid of!  Whew! Better get to it! 

Fairly easy omni/veggie recipes

I'm a vegetarian and my husband eats meat.  This can be a sticky situation for some- goodness knows we've run into a few disagreements over it- mostly concerning how we will raise/feed our daughter.  It's not an easy situation to navigate because for many people, the reasons we eat what we eat are deeper than just taste.  In any case, we've come to our own agreement- Beni will be offered meat, but will never be required to eat it.  Also, her first meat is going to be one of my father's kills once we get back Stateside.  I'm not going to lie, it's probably not going to be easy for me to do, but I'll do it.  As for Joel and I, I am the cook in the house, so I make dinner every night.  I am ok with this, because he washes the dishes every night! :)   I refuse to make more than one dinner a night however.

So I am always looking for vegetarian recipes that are complete unto themselves, but that can easily be adapted for my husband by throwing some meat on the side.  Here are a few of our favorite meals!

Tacos or Nachos
Super easy!  As long as we can get our hands on taco shells or tortillas or chips, we're good to go (I realize I could probably make these myself, but I haven't tried it yet)!  I cook up some meat (chicken or ground beef) for Joel, and black beans or homemade refried beans for myself.  Then, on the side I have diced avocado, chopped olives, shredded lettuce, shredded cheese, hopefully salsa, hopefully sour cream, and sometimes we have corn in there too.  Yummy, quick and super easy! :) Beni's version is usually just black beans, cheese, olives and maybe a tortilla chip.

Sun-dried Tomato and Feta Pasta 
This was a combination I came up with a little while ago.  I'm sure I wasn't the first one ever to do it, but
I came up with it on my own.  I just prepare whatever kind of pasta we have and when it's ready, I mix it with chopped up sun-dried tomatoes and crumbled feta.  I also tend to use some of the oil from the tomatoes to give the pasta just a little bit of a saucy effect.  When we eat this, I just cook up some chopped chicken breast for Joel.  I usually season it with garlic salt because this is pretty much his favorite seasoning ever.  Beni eats this as is!  She really likes tangy salty flavors, so the feta and tomatoes are right up her alley!

Creamy Tomato Sauce
I just made this for the first time Sunday night.  I had bought gnocchi and didn't know what to serve them with.  I usually like to have them with pesto, but there hasn't been any pesto or fresh basil to make my own available in stores in forever.  I'm not a huge fan of straight red tomato sauce (Oh, Aussies, I'm not talking about ketchup, I'm talking about pasta sauce!), so I was looking for something else.  I found a recipe on allrecipes.com which I used as inspiration for what I made.  First I sauteed one diced onion and three chopped cloves of garlic in a good glug of olive oil.  Then I added two tins of diced tomatoes (one had Italian spices and one was plain- this is mostly because this is just what was in my cupboard!) and some herbs.  I added an unmeasured amount of basil, oregano, sugar, salt and pepper.  After this all simmered for a short while, I took it off the heat and blended it using my immersion blender to make a thicker, rather than chunky sauce.  After that I added one container of cream (how much? I don't know!  Maybe about a cup) and let it cook for a few minutes more.  I served it over gnocchi with steamed broccoli and some garlic bread on the side. YUM! Oh, and I served this as is for Joel- to me the meal really seemed complete without meat, even for a meat eater.  I haven't given this to Beni yet.

I loved this sauce.  I had leftovers of that meal yesterday.  And today for lunch I ate a half a head of steamed broccoli with the sauce over the top.  YUM!  I will definitely be keeping this sauce in my mind because I really, really love it and it was super easy to make!

Black beans, Quinoa and Corn
Another sort of Mexican-y flavored dish, it's an easy one pot dish.  I cook up a cup of quinoa (I have to import that) until it's well done.  The I just add in a can of well rinsed black beans and a can of corn!  I also add some cumin, ground coriander and salt.  I eat it topped with avocado and diced fresh tomatoes.  For Joel I cook up some chopped chicken- you guessed it, also seasoned with garlic salt. :)  When I used to serve quinoa as a side dish, Joel referred to it as bird seed.  In this dish, he was really happy to eat it, really enjoyed it.  I haven't given Beni this yet either.

Roasted Butternut, Onion and Feta
This is one of the simplest meals I love to make.  I just peel and cut up a butternut squash and cut up an onion into thick slices (not rings).  I throw it all in a baking dish, drizzle with some olive oil and sprinkle with either just salt and pepper, or cumin, coriander and cayenne, or garam masala.  Then I bake this until the squash is cooked through.  I take it out, and crumble some feta over the top, and put it back in for about 15 minutes (until the cheese gets melty and the squash and onions go kind of brown).  While it browns, I cook up some rice.  I eat this over rice and sprinkled with nutritional yeast.  Joel gets it with a piece of meat on the side (chicken, or recently ostrich or karoo).   To date, Beni is not a fan of rice or whole squash (she'll eat it pureed).

Stir-fry
I love Chinese...so trying to make my own is always something I'm up for.  For this simple stir-fry I just cut up any veggies I've got (recently that has been onion, carrot, red and yellow pepper/capsicum, and broccoli).  I cook them in some oil- I usually cook the onions first and for the longest cause I like them really well cooked, not at all raw.  Once all that is cooked, if I have them I will add snow peas and bamboo shoots.  Then when it's all done cooking, I pour my marinade over it.  I make my own marinade using soy sauce, honey or agave nectar, ginger, garlic, lemon juice, coriander and maybe some cayenne.  I don't measure anything, just throw it all together.  Once it's over the veggies I also add some corn starch/water to thicken the sauce up.  I serve this over rice, and Joel usually has it with some chicken.  Beni hasn't had this either.  

That is what we've been eating a lot of around here lately... I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of options present themselves when we move to Laos!

What are your favorite family friendly recipes?
 

     

Sunday Surprise: Last place is still a victory!

I ran my first 5k today.  It was actually a part of a mini-triathlon.  My team included my husband, who swam 500m, and a friend of ours, Monica, who did the 15k biking.

Our tream pre-race

No suspense, I came in last place in the run, and our team came in last place for teams overall.  I was 6 minutes slower than any other runner, and that really killed it for us.

Let me tell you about today's run though... it included at least 90F degree heat, a dusty road with a fair amount of traffic, even for a Sunday.  The road was bumpy, strewn with garbage here, trees there, parked cars in a few places.  The worst thing was the dead dog.  He was in the road at km marker 2 or so.  He was just entering the phase of decay where you can no longer quite recognize what he once was.  He had a large swarm of flies and his stench covered quite an area.  Yeah, he was gross.  I'm glad since I ran I only had to pass him once... the bikers would have had to pass him three times.   Yuck.

Tagging Monica in the transition from run to bike

I am proud that only 5 bikers lapped me, and I was less than 1km from the end by the time they did.  My initial goal had been to just keep running the whole race.  But I got to the point where my head was spinning and I thought I was going to throw up- as in, my stomach was clenching and I was on the verge of having to stop and do it in the bushes- so I had to take a walk break.  I'm convinced it was the heat that did me in.  So I walked a little, and then ran it in to home to tag Monica onto the bike.

I was so slow that one of our road marshals told me to cheat (he pointed for me to cut across the oval that was the course a whole city block earlier than I was supposed to- for the record, I DID NOT!).  I was so slow that the guy who won the whole thing, finished before my husband even got in the water to do his swim.  (Yes, this tri went run-bike-swim because of the incredible heat we knew would be a part of the day.)

Our team + mascot post-race

So basically, I was really slow.  And I felt like I was going to die, or at least throw up and pass out long before I was done, but definitely by the time I was done.  But I finished it.  I ran my first road race. I got a certificate of completion that I am going to hang on to, danggit!

My next race is on May 8- another 5k- this one, in the States, almost assuredly, without a dead dog.   

Wearing Beni

1 week old, Maya ring sling with Mamma

We are definitely a baby-wearing family.  I'm not sure how much of that was instinctual for my husband, and how much was forced on him by me, but...at this point, we both do it!

The truth is, we didn't even use Beni's stroller until she was... 4 months old? At least.  Maybe 5 months!

And we have a really nice stroller courtesy of my wonderful in-laws, but, I'm all about being very close to my baby, and putting her in a stroller felt like sending her to the moon. In fact, the first times we finally used the stroller, I couldn't even push it... I really had a mental block around it!  I made Joel do the pushing. 

3 months old, Maya ring sling with Mamma- on our way back to Angola

2 months old, mesh ring sling with Daddy

4 months old, sleeping in the Ergo

 I find strollers quite, well, big and bulky and in the way.  They take up a lot of space, and are impossible to push down a busy sidewalk.  We took Beni to the zoo using the stroller and I found myself wanting to abandon the thing halfway through the trip.  I also wanted to throw everyone else's strollers over the fence to be destroyed by the bears.  The only thing I really like about the stroller, is not having to carry my bag because I can put it in the bottom.  I'm one of those annoying people quite likely to wear my kid and push the stroller with the bag in it!

5 months old, hanging out in the Ergo

7 months old, sleeping in the Ergo while Mamma cleans

 The thing is, when I wear my baby... I have two hands free.  She's right up against my chest (or back) so I know exactly what is going on with her.  She has a much better, or at least nicer, perspective on the world from my chest, than she does at stroller height- also known as bum height!  I only need a space as wide as myself to get through a crowd when I'm wearing Beni- I don't have to worry about running into anyone, or over anyone's toes.  

 7 months, sleeping in Ergo

8 months, at Torquay in Ergo with Daddy

5 months, in Ergo with Mamma in Cape Town whale watching

3 months old, in the Ergo at the zoo

Going for a walk with Mamma in the mesh ring sling

When I'm wearing Beni, I can nurse her...right then and there.  Depending on the carrier, I don't even have to stop moving...I can nurse her on the move!

I know I'm like the crazy lady in that one movie, but seriously, I love to wear my baby.  We do use the stroller these days... at least three times a week when I take Beni to school.  It works, and I'm over feeling weird about using it.  I can really see how it will come in handy when baby #2 comes along, hopefully, before Beni is at an age that she can walk long distances yet.  That said, when I reached for the Ergo the other day, Beni crawled right over to me and started bouncing up and down, arms extended overhead, squealing in delight.  I think she likes it too!

On the one hand, shopping- like in the mall, seems like it would be easier with a stroller, because, if you're wearing your baby, it's not always easy to try on clothes (who wants to anyway these days!?).  But, having to maneuver a stroller through racks of clothes... ugh!

Anyway... I've done a lot of reading on the positive effects of baby wearing, and it just all makes sense to me.  Worn babies experience the world through their parents (or their wearers) eyes.  They get to participate.  Worn babies cry less.  They feel safe.  They get "organized" easier and more quickly than babies who are not worn.  (Organized = newborns are not actually fully developed little people, and their systems continue to develop and organize in their first weeks and months- being attached to an already organized person (breathing, heartbeat, etc) helps babies get organized faster themselves!)

I know when I lived in Latvia I got a lot of slack from the locals for even talking about wanting to use a carrier with a baby.  I also heard horror stories of being scolded in public from other baby-wearing mammas.  The old Latvian grandmas seemed to think that wearing a baby would ruin its back and legs and physically harm the child for life.  Amazing how one part of the world can think one thing, and the rest of the world can disprove it in action. :)

I'm glad to now be living in a place where every mother wears her baby.  The only attention I attract here by wearing Beni is over my carriers. Angolan women use just a large piece of fabric to tie their babies on their backs, so my structured carriers are quite a spectacle.  And I'm glad that from here we're moving on to Laos where it will also be normal. Baby-wearing is normal anywhere in Asia for that matter- in some cultures, babies don't even touch the ground until they are 6 mos old, never mind not being worn!  Baby wearing is as normal as having a baby! :)  It's just so nice when things that FEEL right are considered normal. :) 

(Please forgive the formatting on this post...I'm still trying to figure out how to work with the photos and place them where I actually want them. I have tried to do my best by using different picture sizes, etc.)

Because I don't have the brain power for anything more serious...

Showering.

I am a once a day showerer, unless I go to the gym, and then I will usually shower twice a day, although the post-gym shower will really be more of a rinse off than a full shower.  So, as I said, once a day showering.  I don't like being dirty- and I feel dirty if I go more than 24 hours without a shower.  I have fine, thin hair that looks like I dipped it in grease if I don't wash it enough (once a day!).  I also have a baby who sometimes gets bodily fluids, or food, or boogers on me that I prefer to wash off once a day.  I am also a person who sweats and does eventually stink from it. So, I shower once a day. 

Lately it seems like I have heard or read about a lot of people who shower at night.  I have to admit, I just don't get it.  I'm a morning showerer.  I like that being under the water wakes me up.  I like that I get to start my day fresh.  I like that at night, I can just go to bed...well, after brushing my teeth.  Oh, and my hair again... fine, thin hair cannot be slept on and then look ok the next day.  Sleeping on fine, thin WET hair... I might as well prepare my red nose and floppy shoes, cause I'll be looking like a clown.  It just doesn't work, at all.  If I showered at night, I would have to wet my head completely again in the morning- why do it twice?

I do understand the argument about getting into bed clean... sort of.  I mean, if I'm dirty, what do I care if I'm laying on "dirty" sheets?  I change the sheets once a week, so I don't think they really get THAT dirty to begin with.  Plus, I wear clothes all day, and these days I also wear pajamas at night, so, it's not like I'm bringing the grime of the day with me.  So, the whole dirty bed thing just doesn't bother me that much.  Because here's why...

I'd rather be dirty while I'm sleeping, than while I'm awake going about my day!  The way I figure it, if I shower once a day, my clean to dirty cycle takes 24 hours. That means that for about 12 hours I am reasonably clean, but after that, I am more dirty than I am clean.  If you shower at night, you sleep away like 6-8 of your "clean" hours!  Ok, you're not actively getting dirty while you sleep- but, it's possible you're sweating, your head is definitely producing oils like normal, etc.  So, even though you might not get dirt dirty on you while you sleep, I still say your getting dirty cycle begins as soon as you get out of the shower.  So if I were to shower at let's say 10pm, that means that by 10am, I am already more dirty than clean, and I still have at least 8 hours of my active day.  So, see, it doesn't make sense to me!  When I shower in the morning (usually between 8 and 10) I don't reach my more dirty than clean point until late at night, certainly after I'm home for the day on most nights.

I'm sure people who shower at night have compelling reasons... right?  Surely, everyone has given this whole thing as much thought as I have? ;)

Are you morning or night showerer?  What's the main reason for your choice?
 

Babywearing products on sale!

I have to give good press when I can... EcoBuns, the same store where I bought my cloth diapers, also carries several different baby carriers, slings, and wraps!  Babywearing is AWESOME.  I could post a million pictures of myself and Beni... or of her dad wearing her... but I don't have the energy to upload the pics.  So... just go to EcoBuns and buy some baby-wearing gear ON SALE right now.  They are doing 10% off all baby-wearing products through 3/31 in the Spring into Baby-wearing sale!  Whoohooo!!! Do it! :) 

On having a baby, or being a mother- or just being sentimental

My daughter and I- she's less than an hour old here

A new nephew was born into my family yesterday, and it's got me all clucky.  I already got to see pictures of him as well as see him on skype, and lord is he cute!  He's is also going to live in Vientiane, and his parents work at the school where my husband will work.  That means Beni and I will get to spend time with him during the day sometimes, and, of course, we'll all get to hang out when we want.  We're all pretty excited about it!


Seeing my sister-in-law holding that sweet little, well, not that little (9lbs2oz!), bundle just made me remember how amazing it all was!

Me, hand still on belly, not quite registering
that everything is different now!

I remember sitting in the hospital bed a few hours after Beni was born- I had already had a shower, I had eaten and we had some visitors.  Beni was passed out and being passed around and my friends wanted to hear how the whole birth went down- we were all just hanging out.  But I remember that feeling of not quite being able to get over that I HAD A BABY.  It's such an amazing miracle how it all happens... from start to finish, conception to birth...it's so hard to imagine all the little things that come together and happen in all the right order at the right time and then a little person comes out!  And the person is your responsibility.  And you have the honor of taking care of them and loving them and *sigh* it's just so wonderful!

There is the moment when the baby is born that you just want to take him/her in your arms and cuddle and never let go and everything feels perfect.  But I think a few hours later some people (me!) have a moment like,"Holy cow, did that really happen???  Am I a MOTHER now?" It's like, just in that split second EVERYTHING changes!

Still these days, as we get alarmingly close to Beni's first birthday, I am sometimes overcome by what a treasure she is, and how amazing it is that she made it into our lives.  Last night she slept really well (she has not been lately), but I had to go in once, maybe an hour after she went down, to rock her back to sleep.  She has finally hit that age where she will relax against me again, put her head on my shoulder and let herself drift off in the safety of my arms.  I just held her and in that moment couldn't get over that this little person is my daughter, just how amazing she is and that she is part of my life forever.  I am still blessed with the responsibility to take care of her and love her forever.  I know it won't always be easy- some days it already isn't.  I am so thankful for those moments in the night (that is when they most often occur for us) when I am just overwhelmingly aware of how wonderful being a mother is.

My best friend has said to me many times before that being a mother is the best thing that has ever happened to her.  I know what she means.

Tell me I'm not the only one who is such a sentimental sook- what are the moments in your life that make you stop and just breathe in your baby and thank all that is good that you have them in your life?

What it's like raising your baby in Africa...

I feel like I should write this post.  I have been asked to write this post.  In fact, I think I have been asked to write several posts like this.

But I can't write this post.  Here's why.

Here is the first thing.  Babies eat, sleep, poop and play.  They do these things anywhere in the world they live (well, hopefully all babies get to eat and play, I realize there might actually be places where they don't... how thankful am I for our life!?!).  When you live with a baby, you have to do these things with the baby and it takes up lots of your day.  Because we do most of these things within our four walls, it really doesn't look any different than how you are doing it in the States or Canada or Latvia or, (I don't know that anyone is reading from any other country) well, anywhere.

We don't play outside much unfortunately because, we just don't really have a good space to play.  Now that Beni is mobile, but not walking yet, I can't just sit her down on a blanket to play.  And unfortunately the playground in our compound is not much to look at- basically one slide and one little playhouse on a piece of turf.  It sounds innocent enough, but the whole thing is crawling with giant ants.  I don't mean like, you see an ant here or there, I mean, there are giant black ants all over it... and then there are some red ones too.  Frankly, for someone like me, who doesn't much like bugs in the first place, and likes them even less around my kid, I just don't want to put Beni down on the ground there to crawl amongst the ants.  I don't know how many kinds of ants there are and how many of them bite, but, I know there are ants that live in Angola that bite, so, I'm just not taking that chance.  If she were walking, it would be different.

The other place outside where kids sometimes play is just the open lounge type area that is the ground floor of our apt building.  There are a few couches there and a fairly large open space as well... you see kids and their nannies hanging out here often.  Little girls pushing their toy strollers, older kids riding their bikes or rollerblading, little boys pushing around toy cars, etc.  I took Beni down there once to play with her and by the time she crawled around here and there- seriously, maybe for 5-10 minutes- her knees, feet and hands were so black, I had no choice but to give her a bath directly afterward!  The black needed to soak to come off!  Our building is right on a very busy street- you remember, from my post about not going for walks- so, I imagine there is a lot of soot and dust from the cars and street not to mention the foot traffic to the area.  It's not a clean floor.  So, until she's walking, it's not really a place I want her crawling around- especially not when her current m.o. is crawl, crawl, hand in mouth, crawl, crawl, hand in mouth.  Maybe I'm overprotective?  Would you let your kid crawl around in a place like that?

So, that is the first thing... and then here's the second thing.  I'm going to link to this article about being an ugly expat... read it here.  A friend of mine posted the link on facebook, and I have shared it with a number of people, because it is alarmingly accurate.  If you don't want to read it, basically, it tells you how, in 12 steps, to be the person who lives abroad and gives their home country a bad name.  That person openly rejects everything about their new country, and complains about how much better everything is back home.  That person is really not someone you want to be... but the sad thing is, it is really easy, way too easy, to become that person.

It depends on where you live of course... I don't imagine I would be quite so isolated from the local population and world if I lived in France or England.  But, when you live in a place where there are a lot of things that are in stark contrast to the place you come from, it is easy.  Not speaking the local language (Portuguese here) starts you off on the wrong foot.  Then add in that you live in a compound with (and work with) mostly other expats- so you're surrounded by expats all the time- it removes you another step.  Then add the fact that my life is so vastly different from the lives of most of the locals I might meet (people who work at the school- assistants, office staff, etc), that I don't even know what we would do together if we did try to hang out.  That sounds bad, but... it's just true.  Again, I don't think this would be the case if I was living any number of other places... but, alas, for me, it is the case here.

In the end, my contact with the local culture and world ends up being going grocery shopping.  I do it at the same places the locals do it, I have to use the local money, and often squeeze out those few Portuguese words I know.  That is the sad extent of it.  And it's not because I'm against Angola or the people who inhabit it... maybe I am lacking at being able to find connections.  I wouldn't deny it.

I did become quite friendly with my teaching assistant when I was still working.  I still visit her at school, and ask her how things are going, how her son is, etc.  When I got rid of a bunch of pre-pregnancy clothes that are sadly way too small now, I gave them all to her.  We're having a going away party in a couple weeks, and I also invited her to the party.  But she is my one connection to the locals. 

It's really easy to get down on myself for living as isolated as we do- because I really don't like the idea of being an ugly expat- it's not the kind of expat I want to be, but, all too often it just happens.  So, just to play devils advocate for myself... I have to say, moving to a new city, never mind a new country, is hard on just about anyone.  Living in a country as foreign as this is an assault on the senses.  Some days it takes all you've got to just be able to deal with how different things are- with the different sounds, smells, tastes, social norms, etc.  It's not that surprising that given the chance, one looks for other people who they can relate to, speak with easily and understandably, etc.  So, there is that as well.

So then, when I write about having a baby in Africa... in some ways it's just not so different.  When we have our play group, it is with mommies and babies that are all expats.  Currently there is myself, another American, one Venezuelan mom, and another Spanish-speaking mom whose origin I have not nailed down yet, though I know she did live in the States at one time.  So, we're a mixed group, but we're still all expats.  We speak a few different languages, but otherwise, our play group is probably the same as yours.  We get together at one mommy's/baby's house and sit in an area on the floor surrounded by toys and finger foods, watching our babies play alongside or sometimes with each other and chatting about mommy stuff- you know, what so and so is eating, how they're sleeping, what their poop is looking like... you know, mommy stuff!  The only thing that is different is that some of us (those of us who don't work for a company that gives you a massive shopping allowance) don't have as many toys as you would back home, and depending on whose house play group is at, we might have to sit in traffic for a couple hours to get there.

The last problem with writing this post at this point is that I've been here almost three years and am already in packing and leaving mode.  I moved abroad 8 years ago, and ever since, I have often said, "If you live any place long enough, it all becomes normal."  I've been in Angola long enough now, that, mostly the things I have to do here don't phase me anymore.  The fact that I have to install and remove the car seat every time I use it is annoying, but, normal (we don't have our own vehicle, but use the school's fleet of vehicles).  The fact that I can't really buy baby food in the store is also very annoying, but, something I've gotten used to (and it doesn't stop me looking in every store we ever go in to see if they've got anything I'd consider buying).  So, not only are these things fairly normal to me now, so they don't show up on my radar of things to talk about, but also, my mind is already back in the States, and thinking about Laos.  The good news is that we'll be making that transition very soon, and I am pretty sure that as soon as we get to Laos I will have gads and gads of things to write about!  My blogs always pick up speed when I'm in a new place! :)

I'll try, if my mind allows, to document a few more unique things about living here...but in the meantime...this will have to do....

Genuinely interested, what do you consider easy or hard about living and raising kids where ever you are???

Weeks that leave me wondering...

I'm a first time mom.  Babies aren't new to me, not by a long shot, but, my baby is new to me, as is having a baby 24/7.  And even more so, what is new to me is caring this much about something or someone other than myself.  My wonderful sister-in-law says that having a child is having your heart live outside your body for the rest of your life.  I get what she means now. 

For as much as I love my little girl to the ends of the earth... lord, can she make me crazy sometimes!  This picture was taken today, and I'm posting it because no one will ever know if she's about to laugh or about to scream at me for the 100th time today for doing goodness knows what wrong in her eyes!  You can guess, but you'll never know!

This week isn't the first one that she's gone through that has made me wonder where the heck my loving little baby went to...and why I've been left with this really unpleasant being in her place.  She's cranky, moody, tired, clingy, whiny, refusing to eat, impossible to change or get dressed, not sleeping...the list goes on!

Until a couple weeks ago I would have written it off as teeth- or wondered if it was her ears, or if perhaps, she had malaria again.  In fact, her teeth might also be bothering her right now, but, I know now, that there might also be something else going on.

A friend I met on a message board for parents recommended that I read the book The Wonder Weeks  by Van de Rijt and Plooij.  I looked it up on Amazon.com and liked what I saw.  I found more information about them on their facebook page and their website. I ordered the book.

Just a few days ago I finally received it (in case you're wondering how I might receive mail, a friend who works for a very big company here in Luanda and has mail service through them, was willing to order it for me).  When I opened to the section that addresses Beni's current age (counted by weeks) I found that it said things like, "Your child may cling to you" and "She may be moody" and "She may sleep poorly".  The list goes on for things that are in that book that EXACTLY describe what Beni is going through, but, I don't want to violate any copyright laws, so I'm going to stop quoting stuff... :)

Basically, the authors figured out through years of research that all babies go through distinct periods of development at specific times in the first couple years of life.  They call each of these periods of development a leap.  They also found that each of these leaps is generally accompanied by a few weeks of miserableness on the baby's part (well, and often, therefore the parent's, as well!).  They emphasize the 3 Cs: Crying, Clinginess and Crankiness.  But they say the reason a child is acting this way is because quite literally their world is changing overnight because of their development- it's like repeatedly waking up in a new world and having to figure it all out again!  I'd be cranky too!

The thing about this book is that it just tells you what is going on so that you might be a little more at ease.  Instead of sitting there wondering what happened to my baby and if she is EVER COMING BACK, I can see that this fussy period may well last a good month, but that once she passes 46 weeks, she should be back to her old self, except older and smarter. :)  I no longer have to sit around questioning, "Is this all my fault? Have I spoiled her?  Is there something I am doing wrong?  Something I am doing right, but not enough?"  When a book can so specifically and accurately describe what is going on with your child, it's like a breath of fresh air for a worried mamma!

I don't have huge amounts of time to read anymore, so I admit, I haven't read as much of this book as I would have liked to by now, but, I have skimmed through, and there is a chart that shows you when to expect fussy periods, and then there is a chapter on each leap.  Each chapter also includes how to recognize the fussy period and leap coming on, what to look for, how you baby may act, how YOU may react, and then what you can do to support your baby and yourself through the leap.  I've read the what to look for and how she may act part (and it's dead on, as I said), but I really need to find time to read the support part for this leap!  Beni and I both need it!

Besides Dr. Sears' The Baby Book I think this is going to be my favorite parenting/baby book.  The Baby Book was really useful to me when I was pregnant and preparing for Beni, and absolutely invaluable when she was a newborn- it validated all the parenting instincts that I had but was unsure of (because some of them are not considered mainstream appropriate).  I still reference that book fairly often, but, it is full of a different kind of knowledge.  Between these two books though, I think I might be able to sell off anything other parenting/baby books I have!   These two just cover it all for me!

I don't have anything vested in either of these books, aside from the positive experience that both have brought me... so I recommend, if you're expecting, or have a new baby at home- send someone out to get you these books!   

Saturday Surprise!

We went shopping this morning as we have been doing recently on Saturdays.  We went first to the South African supermart, then to the expensive import store...but then, we also stopped by the other location of the expensive import store (they opened a second store in our neighborhood earlier this year) and look what I found!  THE LAST ONE!  Score!

At the first expensive import store (it's the new location), we also found a new display of bakery goods.  They have always sold fresh bread at both locations, but these sweet goods are a new endeavor.  Those are meant to be chocolate croissants, but we'll see what they're like.  I'm not expecting a true French pain au chocolat.

Being at the grocery store today though reminded me of another thing you have to deal with sometimes here... power cuts!  We were most of the way through the superstore when the power went off.  Remember, this is a huge store with no windows.  So when the power goes out, it's dark!  It was the first time we'd been in the store with Beni while the power went out.  She got a little freaked out and grabbed for me.  But I said something funny and laughed and then she was ok.  We just stayed standing in the spot where we were until the power came back on... it took about five minutes.  Then it came back on, and about 10 seconds later went off again.  Then it came back on again much more quickly and stayed on.

True story, a girlfriend just stopped by while I was writing this post and saw the picture of the sour cream.  She immediately exclaimed, "Where did you get that???"  I told her which store and she was like, "Yes! Ok, good."  And then I had to say, "Sorry, it was the last one."  She was so sad. :(  True story...that's shopping in Luanda!

Can I get some sour cream, please?

We had Mexican for dinner tonight- and of course, when I say Mexican, like most Americans, I mean Tex-Mex. :)  A vital ingredient in any Tex-Mex for me is sour cream.  But tonight we had our Tex-Mex- it was nachos- without sour cream.  Why?  Because there is none to be had!   I don't mean just none in our fridge...  I mean, there is none to buy.  The last two times I have gone to the store(s), there has been no sour cream available, and therefore our fridge has none, and finally, we had to eat incomplete Tex-Mex.

The thing about the grocery stores here in Luanda is that for the most part, they look like normal grocery stores- what you would expect.  They are set up in normal grocery store fashion.  They have a produce section, a cereal aisle, a baking aisle, a drinks aisle, there's the pasta and canned goods aisles.  It's fairly normal.

In the produce section you do have to weigh your goods there.  This isn't normal for most American stores, as all that is handled by the cashier at check-out, but, it is standard throughout Europe, and possibly elsewhere.  I had to do it in China too, if I remember correctly.  The problem in Angola is that the scales are broken often, or jamming the little stickers with the price on them, or there are just so many people shopping and just one lone guy manning the weigh station.  Usually when we go shopping Joel just gets right in line and I walk around gathering the produce.

Otherwise, mostly, you could be anywhere.  The differences of course pop up in what is actually on the shelf available for you to buy. 

There are several stores that we frequent regularly. One, the smallest, is a pricey imported goods store.  They import a lot from Portugal, some from the States and I'm sure stuff from other places as well.  This is the store where we buy meat, because it is owned by ex-pats and they make sure that their meat stays cool.  It is also the place I buy sushi necessities- nori, ginger, rice.  Recently it is also the store where I buy most of our fruits and vegetables because the selection they have is the best looking and widest.  Until very recently, it used to be the only place where you could get any type of Mexican stuff- tortillas, taco shells, burrito kits, salsa. We pay for it though.  That burrito kit will run you about $18 (yes, it's the same one you buy in the States, a well known yellow-boxed brand).  The fruit- this week I paid $16 for 4 nectarines.  That's $4 a nectarine.  Shh, don't tell my husband. :)  We used to never buy the fruit from this store, but, after 3 years of looking at it, and especially now that Beni also eats it, I just can't say no anymore.  I gotta have it! 

This store now runs its own risk though... it's an expensive place to shop, and everyone knows it (we have actually seen people checking out and paying over $1,000 for only one piled high cart worth of stuff).  The other day, a woman was robbed at gun point just outside the store.  This kind of thing doesn't happen everywhere all the time- don't anyone start worrying about our safety- but it does happen, and expats (especially those with white skin) are definitely a target.       

The next store that we go to is a South African store, and therefore gets all of its items from South Africa.  It is set up as a supermart, so you can buy toys, car parts, gardening supplies, dishes, etc plus all your food in one place.  Mostly this store isn't bad, except that it has cheaper prices and is therefore ALWAYS full.  The lines are always long, and they play really loud inappropriate music (think rap with explicit lyrics, etc) so it can be an overwhelming experience.  But we get basics there- some veggies, napkins and toilet paper, rice and pasta, flour and sugar when they have it.  My husband buys his ever important supply of Coke from there.   One other downside to this place is that is does not keep up cleanliness standards that we might hope for.  It's not unusual to see roaches there.  If the flour supply lasts on the shelf for too long, it is bound to have bugs in it when you bring it home.  We've also seen mice.  The worst thing for me is the blood on the floor.  I don't know what it is they do, or don't do, when they package their meat, but, it is all too common for there to be trails of blood all along the floor- obviously drip, drip, dripped throughout the store from someone's cart.  I'm not usually very squeamish about meat or blood- but, the blood on the floor is dirty, it stinks after a while, and it's just plain gross.  Bleh.

The last store that we have just recently started going to only recently opened.  It is also a supermart, and it is, right now, very nice.  It is clean, airy, spacious, bright and not too full of people.  They also have some stuff that you can't get elsewhere- for instance, they have a whole section of yellow-box brand Mexican stuff from the States.  They have much more of a variety of items though which has been awesome.  They carry tortilla chips of the variety that I am used to and also salsa.  The salsa costs $10 a jar, but, last time I bought 3.  Recently they also had brown sugar, which I snapped up instantly, even though I had some in my cupboard back home. 

You may wonder why I buy these things in bulk, or when I already have them... that is the kicker about shopping here in Angola.  Things appear on the shelves, and they last for a while, maybe, but they disappear and stay gone for much longer than they were there in the first place.  I imagine it is simply the fact that everything is imported, and comes from fairly far away, and has to sit in customs for months... you just can't count on anything still being there when you want it to be. 

One example that pained me was tinned artichoke hearts.  At the beginning of this school year (so in August) the import grocery store had tins of artichoke hearts for the first time that I had ever seen.  I bought several at a time for weeks- I stockpiled a few but also used them because I loooove artichoke hearts!  By the time October rolled around the artichokes were all bought out.  I ended up bringing a few tins back with me in my luggage after our October holiday in Cape Town, South Africa.   Alas, those all got used up months ago, and I've had no artichoke hearts since I was in Australia at Christmas time. 

Complaining about the lack of tinned artichoke hearts might make me seem a bit snobby and ridiculous, but I could also tell you about the time when we went about 2 months without eggs, or the time we went without flour for a whole semester, or the time when there was no sugar for about a month.  It sucks when something you really like suddenly appears, and then disappears again...but, it is definitely worse when one of the most basic staples is gone.  I remember that period without eggs... it was awful!  I remember when one of the supermarts finally got eggs in- word spread like wildfire, and then there we all were buying up whole flats of them!

Coming back full circle to the sour cream now... when we moved to Angola we came from a land of dairy.  Latvia loves its dairy products and the selection never leaves you wanting (well, except maybe in the ice cream dept...).  So I was used to not just being able to get sour cream, but to have it coming out my ears, in several different varieties.  That was nice for me, because sour cream might just be my favorite condiment.  I love it with Mexican (I could have tortilla chips, salsa and sour cream AS dinner), I love a dollop in a brothy soup and on pancakes- especially potato pancakes.  I love it on potatoes of any sort.  I just like sour cream, ok.  But when we first came here, I was sure I was going to have to find a new favorite condiment because I never saw any in the stores.  A couple of months after we moved here, I remember finally saying something about it to a friend who had been here a year longer than us, and she said,"Sour cream?  You can get it here!"  But see, there hadn't been any on the shelf for months!  It did eventually show up, and for as much as you can stockpile a food with an expiry date, I did.  But alas, I did not stockpile enough the last time I saw it, for tonight we ate nachos with black beans, cheddar cheese, tomatoes, black olives, avocado, salsa and chicken for Joel... but no sour cream.

So that's our shopping experience... when it's good, it's good...when it's bad, it's out of stock, crawling with bugs or dripping blood.  What about you?  Do you enjoy grocery shopping?  What are your highlights and lowlights of the shopping experience?       
  

The downside of co-sleeping

Um, dear in-laws, cover your eyes.  I'll tell you when you can uncover them. :)

When I was pregnant I bought a co-sleeper and a crib.  The co-sleeper was for use in the US while we were there, and the crib was going to be for here in Angola.  We went to a lot of effort for that crib too, my husband especially.  It's not the kind of thing you can just pick up at the store here- well, you could get one with the safety standards of 1920 or you could get a nice one imported from somewhere that would cost you 10 million dollars.  So, we went the route of buying one from a family that was leaving.  They had brought it with them from Australia a few years before.  It had already weathered two children, but, at least it was made according to Australian safety standards and a fairly reasonable price.  I was gone in the States when my husband had to get the crib, move it, and set it back up.  Apparently, it took hours.  Lots of hard work.  And for what?

Well, not for us to use it!  I remember when Beni was born I was ok with people holding her, but, that bassinet?  Nope, it wasn't for me.  If my husband wanted to sleep or nobody else wanted to hold her, then I was going to hold her.  When we got home, the co-sleeper was set up and ready to be used.  I promptly filled it with stuff I might need in the middle of the night, and put Beni in the bed next to me.  The co-sleeper seemed like it was MILES away, if it was even 12 inches- way too far away for me to put my baby in it and FALL ASLEEP.

That is the story of how Beni ended up in our bed.  And I fell in love with it absolutely and completely.  When she was really little, I couldn't even sleep without her. I remember my husband sending me upstairs to nap when she was maybe a week old- she had just been fed, changed and was sleeping.  I had at least an hour if not longer.  So up the stairs I went, and crawled into bed.  I tossed and turned for a half hour at least, and then fell into a nightmare-filled sleep for about an hour.  It was HORRIBLE.  I woke up, came downstairs, picked up my baby, and fell asleep on the couch with her.  We both slept soundly, Joel looking on. What can I say?  That's just how it was.

Needless to say, I am a big fan and supporter of safe co-sleeping (there is a right and a wrong way to do it- of you're thinking of doing it, do your research on how to do it right!).  But, I will admit there is one downside to co-sleeping.

There is a baby in your bed.  Pretty much every time you might want to be in your bed there is a baby in your bed.  Any time you might want to be in the bed WITH YOUR SPOUSE there is a baby in your bed!  In-laws, your eyes are covered, right?

This is the only downside to co-sleeping that I can come up with... it's tough to get laid when there is a baby in the bed where you'd like to do it!

Now, some parents go ahead and try to just do it there anyway.  I mean, some babies are deep sleepers, and you can do it quietly, right?.  A friend of mine shared a story of doing it with the baby in the bed.  She said she and her husband had done it before, but the last time they did it, they were mid-doing-it, when they looked over to see their 7 mos old sitting up watching them.  Needless to say, that killed the mood, and that was the last time they did that...

So that leaves finding another place to do it.  In our home, that place happens to be the baby's room.  Remember, she's not in there!  Her room houses her clothes and her changing table, and used to have the crib, until we gave it away to someone who actually wanted to use it.  But her room also has a mattress on the floor, which is where we actually change her now that she's entered that won't lie still on the change table for anything phase.  So, the mattress serves double duty.  Hey, our couch is only a love seat (nice name, but way too small to do it on!) and we have tiled floors- not exactly comfy for doing it!

Mind you, the mattress on the floor in the baby's room is only a single, but, we make do.  It makes for a snuggly experience. I mean, ok... it probably should be snuggly anyway, but, well you know... we really have to stay close on such a little mattress!  It makes for some laughs as well. And so far it's been a really lovely setting for some post-coital conversations...and those have been quiet, snuggly ones as well, which is really nice. :)

So, that's my story- there is a downside to co-sleeping.  Do you think our kid will ever care that we regularly did the horizontal mambo on her "change table"?  Ha ha ha!!! Ah, I hope not. :)

So, now ladies... I know I am not the only one in this predicament, so tell me...

What creative spot are you getting it on in since you can't do it in bed???

or (even better)

Do you have a sex story that (unfortunately) involves your child(ren)?     

OK, in-laws, you can uncover your eyes!  You didn't miss anything here! :)

Comfort food

Enjoying some avocado at 6 mos

Beni got her first bite of solid food the day before she turned 6 mos old.  In the very beginning it seemed like she was going to like eating...we had a few times when she ate really well.  I mean, check out that picture.  That is a child enjoying some avocado!

But time went on, and soon enough Beni was refusing any solids.  Then eventually around 8 mos, maybe 9, she really got into purees, and now finally she is eating fingers foods that most kids probably were eating months ago.  And the foods she is eating are not the ones I imagined and hoped she would be... I'm a vegetable-loving vegetarian, so I sure did hope she wold love her vegetables.  She does eat them as purees, but, she hasn't exactly taken to fresh/cooked ones. (There is time, I realize, for her tastes to develop!)

So the other night she was having some dinner... pasta with butter and parmesan.  She was mostly sucking the butter and cheese off the pasta, and then eating small bites of the actual pasta.  I kept eying her pasta and REALLY wanting to eat it!

Eventually I started telling my husband how even though it was such a simple meal, I really wanted to eat it.  And I think I know the reason.  The meal seems to me like a very kiddie meal- something that would be lovingly (though quickly) prepared for a child by their mother.  A meal not big on taste, but huge on love.

I'm not sure if I missed out on meals like that when I was a kid myself.  My parents divorced when I was 6.  We lived with my mom, and she went back to work full time and had to handle that plus everything at home.  I know she cooked for us, but, she was very busy, and quite possibly just didn't have the energy to put into meals.  Or it could very well be that my own emotional body was just shut down at that point because of the upheaval going on in my life, and I just don't remember.  So my inner 6 year old is longing for lovingly prepared by mommy kiddie meals.

I do remember that I had to make my own lunches from a very young age. I remember making lots of bologna and ketchup sandwiches (ew!).  As a teacher, I've seen lots of packed lunches, and I have the same pull to steal kids lunches as I did with Beni's dinner.  There is something about those perfect little ham and cheese sandwiches with a thin spread of butter or mayo that just makes me want to pull a, "Hey, look! What's that over there?" make em look the other way while I steal your lunch thing.  Again...it's not so much about the sandwich.  Heck, I'm a vegetarian- what do I want with a ham and cheese sandwich?- but, the way the soft, fluffy bread layers with the fillings, and how it all fits tidily in a baggie next to the chips and cookies (typical American packed lunch of my youth) in a fun lunch box packed by your mommy.   It's about that.

It's like there are foods I just can't resist because, they just seem to have so much love in them!  Pasta with butter and parm, simple sandwiches... when I explained this whole thing to Joel he immediately said, "I'm like that with mac and cheese."  It's the ultimate comfort food- a food that holds memories from your childhood, and brings you back to feeling taken care of and loved.

What's the comfort food you want to steal out of your kid's lunch?  Or if you're a teacher, or a child care provider, or you visit your child's day care or school during the day- what do you want to steal out of other kid's lunches? ;)

What's your thang?

My awesome sister-in-law Mook (yes that was her you saw in the comments) and I have been having a conversation about dryers all day today. The conversation started out of yesterday's post about diapers. I would have to own a whole lot more diapers than I do, to live without a dryer.  That is because the diapers we use would take days to air dry.  In any case, this post isn't about diapers anymore...it's about my thang... the dryer.

I tried to live without a dryer for a while.  That was in 2006/2007 when my husband and I were living together in a tiny (yes, it was 35 sq m/377 sq ft) little apartment.  We had a portable washing machine that could wash one tiny load at a time.  We had to drag the machine from the kitchen into the shower, and hook it up the water supply in there to use it.  We had no dryer though- we had one drying rack which was ALWAYS out and ALWAYS covered in clothes because they took so long to dry in that climate.  Also, by the end of the time we lived in that apartment, my socks had grown in length by at least 30%, and there was a whole pile of cotton shirts I could no longer wear because they had completely stretched out and lost their shape.  Why?  Because of no dryer, of course!

I can't stand crunchy sheets and towels.  I hate having to wait days for my laundry to be done.  I hate not being able to simply start and finish the job of laundry.  Also, I HATE ironing, and if you don't use a dryer, I don't know how it's possible not to iron.  Well, scratch that, I don't think I ever ironed that year I lived without a dryer, but, I'm sure my wardrobe was limited to things that dried fairly wrinkle free on the line.

So, the dryer is my thing, my THANG.  Isn't there a song... with the lyrics... what's your thang...I don't know... anyway... I just don't want to live without a dryer.  My life is better with one.  It is easier.  It is worth it!  And yes, I feel badly that apparently the dryer is the worst appliance in the whole house for energy consumption, but... I just can't give it up. Maybe, maybe, if I lived in a climate like where my sister-in-law grew up without a dryer in Australia, I could live without one... but... I think I would have had to grow up there.  I mean, come on, I'm from Michigan... if you didn't have a dryer in Michigan, it was because you didn't have a washer or a dryer, you know?   In the last 8 years we've only owned a car for 7 months and we use reusable grocery bags.  That's gotta count for something, doesn't it (to offset the use of the dryer, that is)?

My sister-in-law on the other hand, she doesn't want or need a dryer.  She doesn't mind hanging her laundry on the line to dry, and finds the whole process easier and smoother without a dryer.  To each their own!

Hmmmmm.... I don't have a coffee maker.  And I can happily live without one. 

What's your thang? The thing that someone else might happily be able to live without, but you just need in your life???

Fluffy bum!

Beni rockin a Thirsties Fitted and Cover

Yes, people, I'm talking about cloth diapers!  You'll find pictures of my daughter in her cloth diapers throughout this post because if there is one very good reason to use them, it is the fact that they are SO FREAKING CUTE! Don't ya think?

But, the main reason we chose to use cloth diapers, I think, is because of the horror stories we had heard about getting your hands on disposable diapers while living abroad.  I like to make eco-friendly choices as much as I can, so when we do use disposables, we always use earth-friendly brands, and none of those are available where we live. 

Bummis prefold under a Thirsties cover

But not just that, from the stories we had heard from a few other parents, just as with almost everything else, you can't count on the store having diapers when you need them.  Or they have them, but not in the right size.  Or they have diapers, but not the brand you like.  Everything is imported to Angola, and when you drive by the port you can see loads of cargo ships...they litter the port, and they sometimes sit there for months on end waiting to get through the red tape to offload their goods.  So you can imagine, the diapers you like, in the size you need, might be stuck on a ship!  Hence, pretty easy choice to go ahead and take the plunge with cloth.

And aren't I glad we did!  I just love, again, how cute they are.  I love that my baby has soft cloth against her girly bits instead of....well, everything that a disposable is made of.  I love that I am only ever about 5 hours away from a whole load of clean diapers (that's wash and dry time all together). I love that I don't have to leave the house to get clean diapers.

Bummis swim diaper

I love knowing that we're only making a small contribution to the millions of diapers that fill landfills the world over (we do use disposables sometimes- like when we travel around the world and it literally takes us three days to reach our destination.).  I love that even though I have gone a bit overboard with buying cute diapers instead of just what we need, we are still saving money over the cost of disposables.  I love that cloth is better for my baby, for the earth, and as far as I'm concerned, better for me and my pocketbook!  

So I have to tell you first where we bought the majority of our diapers.  I wouldn't have been able to make any decisions about what to use or buy without the help of Kellie, owner of EcoBuns.  I found her store via the Internet, and then found all the help I needed at her store in the form of herself!  The first time I went to visit she talked to me for over an hour about all the different kinds of diapers, how they all work, what is better about one over the other, etc.  She was AWESOME, and brought my level of confusion about cloth diapers from a 10 to a 1.  EcoBuns is online and has a lovely little store in Holland, Michigan- and they carry a lot more than diapers.  If you go, know your spending limit and bring an iron will because I promise you, you will leave wanting WAY MORE than you ever thought possible!  

Bummis prefold under my favorite Thirsties cover!

We ended up buying Bummis organic prefolds  and a few Bummis covers, as well as a few Thirsties covers and Thirsties fitteds to use when Beni was itty-bitty (0-6 mos).  My husband and I both really, really loved the Bummis prefolds.  They were easy to use, easy to wash, easy to pack and did a good job of containing whatever Beni produced- not to mention also doubling as burp rags, nursing covers, and the list of other functions could go on.  We loved the Thirsties covers the best, because they fit Beni better and didn't let ANYTHING leak. All of these diapers were also very easy on the pocketbook.


We made a larger investment in BumGenius Organic All-in-ones.  These diapers are definitely more expensive, but, they are worth it.  They have been our night time diaper from day one because they could hold more than a prefold.  They are SO easy to use, as using them is exactly like using a disposable, just put it on and go.  No pining, just one piece, no stuffing anything...couldn't be easier.  This is the diaper that Beni wears most of the time now.  They come in nice solid colors, and just recently in some cute prints as well.

Bummis Tots Bots Easy Fit diaper

We also have some Bummis Tots Bots Easy Fit diapers, which are also an all-in-one system, and super easy to use.  They come in RIDICULOUSLY cute patterns- which is the main reason I HAD to get my hands on a few.  The mushroom one is my favorite.    

The Happy Heinys Cow Print

We had a few Happy Heinys pockets as well, but we ended up selling those as they just didn't fit Beni.  I'm pretty sure this happens with disposable diapers as well- they just all have their own fit.  And some fit your baby, and some don't.  I bought the Happy Heinys

So those are our diapers. I love them.  I think Beni likes them too.  And honestly, my husband finds disposables harder to use than cloth, because, cloth is basically all he knows.  So he loves them too!

Cloth diapering was the right choice for us because of our circumstances and our preferences.... was it yours, too?  How do you feel about cloth diapers?  Love them?  What's your favorite?  Hate them?  Why?  Thinking about trying cloth with your next baby?  If you're in Holland, Michigan or within a reasonable driving distance- visit EcoBuns!  I promise you won't regret it!