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| 1 week old, Maya ring sling with Mamma |
We are definitely a baby-wearing family. I'm not sure how much of that was instinctual for my husband, and how much was forced on him by me, but...at this point, we both do it!
The truth is, we didn't even use Beni's stroller until she was... 4 months old? At least. Maybe 5 months!
And we have a really nice stroller courtesy of my wonderful in-laws, but, I'm all about being very close to my baby, and putting her in a stroller felt like sending her to the moon. In fact, the first times we finally used the stroller, I couldn't even push it... I really had a mental block around it! I made Joel do the pushing.
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| 3 months old, Maya ring sling with Mamma- on our way back to Angola | | |
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| 2 months old, mesh ring sling with Daddy |
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| 4 months old, sleeping in the Ergo |
I find strollers quite, well, big and bulky and in the way. They take up a lot of space, and are impossible to push down a busy sidewalk. We took Beni to the zoo using the stroller and I found myself wanting to abandon the thing halfway through the trip. I also wanted to throw everyone else's strollers over the fence to be destroyed by the bears. The only thing I really like about the stroller, is not having to carry my bag because I can put it in the bottom. I'm one of those annoying people quite likely to wear my kid and push the stroller with the bag in it!
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| 5 months old, hanging out in the Ergo |
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| 7 months old, sleeping in the Ergo while Mamma cleans |
The thing is, when I wear my baby... I have two hands free. She's right up against my chest (or back) so I know exactly what is going on with her. She has a much better, or at least nicer, perspective on the world from my chest, than she does at stroller height- also known as bum height! I only need a space as wide as myself to get through a crowd when I'm wearing Beni- I don't have to worry about running into anyone, or over anyone's toes.
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| 7 months, sleeping in Ergo |
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| 8 months, at Torquay in Ergo with Daddy |
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| 5 months, in Ergo with Mamma in Cape Town whale watching |
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| 3 months old, in the Ergo at the zoo | |
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| Going for a walk with Mamma in the mesh ring sling |
When I'm wearing Beni, I can nurse her...right then and there. Depending on the carrier, I don't even have to stop moving...I can nurse her on the move!
I know I'm like the crazy lady in that one movie, but seriously, I love to wear my baby. We do use the stroller these days... at least three times a week when I take Beni to school. It works, and I'm over feeling weird about using it. I can really see how it will come in handy when baby #2 comes along, hopefully, before Beni is at an age that she can walk long distances yet. That said, when I reached for the Ergo
the other day, Beni crawled right over to me and started bouncing up and down, arms extended overhead, squealing in delight. I think she likes it too!
On the one hand, shopping- like in the mall, seems like it would be easier with a stroller, because, if you're wearing your baby, it's not always easy to try on clothes (who wants to anyway these days!?). But, having to maneuver a stroller through racks of clothes... ugh!
Anyway... I've done a lot of reading on the positive effects of baby wearing, and it just all makes sense to me. Worn babies experience the world through their parents (or their wearers) eyes. They get to participate. Worn babies cry less. They feel safe. They get "organized" easier and more quickly than babies who are not worn. (Organized = newborns are not actually fully developed little people, and their systems continue to develop and organize in their first weeks and months- being attached to an already organized person (breathing, heartbeat, etc) helps babies get organized faster themselves!)
I know when I lived in Latvia I got a lot of slack from the locals for even talking about wanting to use a carrier with a baby. I also heard horror stories of being scolded in public from other baby-wearing mammas. The old Latvian grandmas seemed to think that wearing a baby would ruin its back and legs and physically harm the child for life. Amazing how one part of the world can think one thing, and the rest of the world can disprove it in action. :)
I'm glad to now be living in a place where every mother wears her baby. The only attention I attract here by wearing Beni is over my carriers. Angolan women use just a large piece of fabric to tie their babies on their backs, so my structured carriers are quite a spectacle. And I'm glad that from here we're moving on to Laos where it will also be normal. Baby-wearing is normal anywhere in Asia for that matter- in some cultures, babies don't even touch the ground until they are 6 mos old, never mind not being worn! Baby wearing is as normal as having a baby! :) It's just so nice when things that FEEL right are considered normal. :)
(Please forgive the formatting on this post...I'm still trying to figure out how to work with the photos and place them where I actually want them. I have tried to do my best by using different picture sizes, etc.)
11 comments:
I have a Beco Gemini and I've only used it a handful of times. I don't know why. I think Alyse would love watching the world while being close to me, but for some reason, it's not my "go to" when we're out. For example, at Ben's game last night, she sat in her stroller and watched the kids play, or played with her toys, or ate from her tray. She wouldn't be able to do that in a carrier. BUT, this post has inspired me to try the Beco out some more...see how it goes :)
i LOVED baby wearing!!! sadly at 26 pounds he just doesn't fit anymore, not to mention how heavy he is. I used a moby when he was small, and then an infantino front to back when he got big. i think the only thing that would work for him now is one of those hiking packs with a metal frame... no thanks!
baby wearing will always be one of my favorite parts of luke's babyhood. i absolutely loved strapping him to the front of me and going to get groceries. i could kiss his little head non stop!
i'm with you on feeling "too far away" with him in the stroller. Especially once he outgrew the bucket seat (we have a travel system) and he had to face foward. then it was so much worse... CAN'T SEE MY BABY!!! I'm slowly getting over it though :)
another awesome Mamma round the world post, as usual :)
wow i stand corrected!!! i was just on ecobuns and their Ergo Carrier goes up to 40lbs... I might have to get. I can strap it onto DH and we can do some hiking this summer!
I love love love love love love etc. my Ergo, :) My five year old 43 lb little man can still monkey on my back in it, and does. My two year old loves it too. I loved my wraps when they were both littler as well, the sling styles were just not as comfortable when the boys got a bit bigger or for long stints. Can't wait to get back on the trails again - cool post Mara, keep up the awesome blogging!
From the Latvian point of view... :) I must say I cannot imagine doing all this - what I see in your beautiful photos - here in Latvia if we continue to have winters like this and the last one. Wearing a sling seems like a natural thing to do when you don't have to pack up your child (warm clothes, gloves, hats, etc.) for at least 8-9 months of the year. Having said that, I completely support all that "close to mamma's body" thing and its impact on child's development. We travelled to Australia when Izabella was 10 months old and spent happy 2 months carrying her in a sling there so I cannot say we don't have an experience. We do. But when we returned, we experienced the 70 degrees Celsium difference (it was +40C in Australia and -30C in Riga that time), so the sling went into the corner and its days were over. I could be happy to read about wearing a baby in a cold climate.
Mary- Give it a go. When I sit down someplace with Beni, if she's in a carrier, she just sits in my lap and people watches, instead of sitting in a stroller. Works for me! But, of course, strollers can be handy for that too!
Carolyn- and you know EcoBuns is having a sale....no doubt, if you get an Ergo, you will love it. :)
Dace, I have seen mammas wear bigger coats to accommodate a baby in a sling, or even cut holes in the back of coats so that the coat is over baby and mamma and then their head pokes out through the hole. Imagine all the body heat you would gain from wearing a little one in the winter! I absolutely agree that it wouldn't be as easy as it is when you don't have to worry about all those layers, etc... but, I think it's do-able!
Oh, and Dace, even if you can't wear your baby outside, if it's too much hassle in the cold, you can still wear them inside! I wear Beni while vacuuming and mopping the floors so that she doesn't get in the way, sometimes while washing the dishes...sometimes just to get her to sleep... It's amazing how content she is just to be on my back while I wash the dishes. When she sits in her high chair while I wash dishes she fusses and cries... on my back, she's happy!
Thanks, Kellie. :)
Good point Māra! I'll give it more thought whenever I have my next child. :) The thing is, we were and still are very lucky with our girl - she was fussy very few times (I know it sounds unbelievable) but I do realize it may not always be the case. :)
We had one sling for our boys, no array of snazzo ergo anythings, but we loved the sling. Best thing was that quick pop down to the shop - put the baby in and go. I was so convinced of the positive aspects of babywearing I bought slings for a few of my friends who had new babies, but they did not seem to use them at all :( For us it was totally necessary because our bubs were so FUSSY! Since then in Latvia I have had a number of friends use slings with their babies - they have found the "mai tai" style popular - a big long teatowel, in effect, that you tie the baby in to. Looks confusing at first but I have been amazed to see practiced mammas tying the baby up in no time! One of these mammas also has bought a special coat designed to "house" a baby in a sling - so she went all through winter with the baby snug and warm and "worn". I think she ordered it online, though, I doubt you could buy them here in Latvia.
BUT (here it comes), for me, the downside of the sling was 1) my back! Eventually, no matter how good your carrier is, your back/shoulders hurt. I would have loved to carry the bubs for longer but my back couldnt take it.
and 2) the prospect of falling over. I know that as adults, we don't fall over that often, but it can happen. I fell one time with my youngest in the sling - stupid slip-on shoes combined with a pothole in a field. He was not hurt, though we both took a big bump falling forward, but I realise we were both really lucky. I stepped out of those shoes then and there, left them in the field next to the pothole. The fear of falling was also why I didn't get carried away with carrying my kids during winter. The ice on the road means that I slip over at least a few times every yearr, and have quite a few near misses - I am just naturally clumsy, I guess. Enough to stop me from subjecting my child to my uncoordinated carrying on icy roads :( With the baby in the pram I could HOLD ON to the handle and that way had less chance of falling!!
PS. The Ergo looks amazing - love the head support for Beni while she sleeps. Also great looking support for the parent, like backpacks where you have strap around the waist. Mmmm.
Mook, I dare say you could have carried both of your kids for years if you had had an Ergo. They distribute the weight in a way that you really can get away with wearing them for hours without pain. Eventually you just carry them on the back, but that is ok. Slings are great, but I agree, you really can only do them for so long before your back starts hurting.
I have two mei tais, and I would hardly call them a large tea towel! I love them! My pink mei tai was the one I used most often when outside the house when Beni was young. :)
You do make a good point about falling- icy streets could be dangerous.
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